First of all, hi everyone! I believe what I'm about to write will be a bit confusing and I apologize in advance (English is not my first language and I'm sorry if what I'm writing is confusing, because it's a long story). So, first things first: I'm almost 30 right now and I'm in a relationship that has lasted for the last 4 years. I have a beautiful daughter and although my husband is not perfect, he's an awesome dad and always great with me. I've identified as bisexual since I know myself but could only have any kind of longer relationship with men because I thought I just happened to deal better with men (physically I'm more attracted to women than men). For the last year I've been very confused about myself. I'm finding it hard to maintain my relationship because not only I never felt that need to have sex with men, now I can't even touch him without feeling weird and uncomfortable. 5 months ago I met this amazing woman at work. Usually my connection with women was just physical but now I have a very hard time when I'm not with her, we've been talking all day and night, going out together, we have lunch and smoke breaks together too. It's like I really can't imagine not being with her. Two weeks ago I left my daughter with my husband and asked him to go out with some friends, including her, and he doesn't really mind as long as I still want him (but I don't....). We ended up having some drinks just the two of us and we eventually ended up kissing. Like, all night. Since then, things have been really awkward because she has someone else and I have a family. We manage to not be too obvious at work, but I really can't stop thinking about her. So. My problem is basically that I suddenly started looking back to my old and new relationships and I see I get bored with men very fast, and end up staying with men because it's comfortable. Now, I can't even imagine myself having sex with a men ever again and wonder why I kept myself like this up to now. I don't know if I'm just confused and if this is supposed to happen. Can anyone please share some experiences and help me understand what exactly is going on with me? Sorry again for the confusing post and thanks everyone
Hello and welcome. Your story sounds like many of us on this site. Lots of us realize late in life that we are bi or gay. Read some of the recent threads and some old ones too---there are many threads are about women in your situation. In many cases it becomes necessary to change our marriage situation, but it is always a hard choice. Most bisexual people who are partnered are partnered with the opposite sex, but that doesn't mean that you should be. I chose to stay with my husband but many here have decided they are mostly or all gay and that they need to leave. You have to figure this out for yourself. But we are here to offer support while you figure it out!
CapColors is right and has good advice. We are mostly all in your same situation in this sub-forum and there are many of us. I'm sorry to hear your confusion and lots of times it's hard. But I also hear that you really enjoyed making out with her all night and well that is pretty exciting for you. For me when it happened it was the first time I "felt alive" in years (decades?). A time-honored thread I like to share is this one, you don't have to read it or the whole thing but when I was new to this I read the whole thing like 6 times. This has NEVER happened before Welcome to EC, I hope to see you around!
As the others have said, you're in good company here. It feels like you're the only one who has ever gone through this--this forum will help you realize that you're not alone. (*hug*)
Thank you I will check the post mentioned above and it feels a little better knowing people can get through the same situation! I'm still trying to figure out myself really, I don't actually know anymore where I stand in terms of my sexuality and probably that's what's confusing me the most. And yes, being with her feels amazing, haven't felt like that in years.. :icon_bigg
