a fun lesbian event!

I wanted to put out an update about this, since reading others' past similar posts inspired me to put myself out there. :icon_bigg Thank you, brave EC posters who came before me! (&&&)

So, last weekend I went to a lesbian event in my area. I had been to a couple of events before, both of them at a bar, and although the people were very friendly I still felt sort of uncomfortable the whole time. The bar scene isn't really for me, and also it was my first time socializing with other lesbians, and on top of that I get a little anxious (and a lot awkward) in social situations, and also I was a little more questioning about my orientation than I am now. So all of that combined made me feel quite strange being there. It got easier the second time, but I still felt a bit of an outsider, and very intimidated by everyone else; I guess I was just assuming the whole time that everyone else there had been out forever and knew they were gay forever, and I was the only one who was new or questioning. Looking back, I am sure that wasn't true, but I felt that way anyway.

So last weekend I went to another lesbian meetup event, to a local concert featuring a musician who is gay (and has a big LGBT fan base). I almost turned around and went home before I got there because I was so nervous. This event was a lot closer to my home than the others, which I guess made the coming out aspect of it feel more significant to me, and also I have had a lot of work stuff going on lately that has been kind of stressful, and the idea of spending my free time putting myself into another social situation where I don't know anyone and being out, etc., etc. was scary.

But I went anyway and I am so glad I did because it was AWESOME. (!) I didn't think I would like the music all that much--I really only signed up to go because it was a lesbian event close by that worked with my schedule-- but as it turned out it was a really great concert! It was also SO wonderful for me to hear a woman singing love-themed songs about women...I had never heard that before, and it was just so great!!! It seems weird that hearing something like that could make such a big difference, but it really did. Also, the person next to me referred to the concert as a "gay event" as soon as I got there, and I realized from the way she was talking that it was safe to just assume everyone there was gay, and it was mostly women, so there was just this really great vibe in the room where we were all enjoying the music and we all knew we could relate to it and it just felt like this great community.

Actually, it is totally possible that it was just me feeling that way because I felt more relaxed being out at an event like that, but actually I don't think it really matters if it was just me or not. I had fun, and for the first time I felt comfortable being out and being in that kind of situation, and now I can't wait for the next event!

I know it takes courage to do these things, especially for us Later in Lifers, so I wanted to put my positive experience out there!