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What to do when a friend might be curious?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by crazydog15, Dec 3, 2015.

  1. crazydog15

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    So this has gotten me thinking:

    I came out to a friend not too long ago, and I told not him not only that I'm gay, but where I am on the good old Kinsey scale. Which led him to openly wonder where on the scale he was. I think he even did some research on his own after; he was really curious about this, and I don't think his answer was at 0.

    Now, I don't think he's actually interested in me in a more-than-friends way, but suppose I do run across a straight-ish guy who is curious about, um, exploring the boundaries of his sexuality. Is that ever something worth pursuing?
     
  2. Distant Echo

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    Ask him where he is on the scale...
     
  3. baddech

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    You can only read so much about being gay on the internet. You can only truly know from experience or lack therof. And since the lack therof hasn't answered his question you should do your duty and be there as a friend and help him explore (if both ya'll wants that is). And by explore I mean :kiss: (!)
     
    #3 baddech, Dec 8, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2015
  4. Distant Echo

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  5. Filip

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    Honestly... it sounds like you're still a lot of "and if"s away from that question.


    IF he came to the conclusion that he isn't totally straight and IF he decides that not-straight means that he has some attraction to guys and IF he wants to validate experimentally and IF he wants to do said experimentation with a friend, then... the answer is still just a maybe.


    For all of the ifs above, there is a chance the answer is no. Maybe it was just an idle thought. Or maybe he figured it out without needing experimentation (seriously... lots of people don't need testing. I was perfectly certain I was gay before I even held hands ith a guy). Or maybe he'd rather not risk messing up a friendship.

    And, of course, be wary of your own feelings. Experimenting is one thing, hoping that he'll also fall for you is something entirely different. Make sure you're not likely to get hurt with any possible outcome.



    So if you ask me, for now the best thing you can do is just to talk. He seems very open-minded on the subject, at least. So maybe he's just a good guy to generally talk about being gay with. Tell him some of your thoughts, and maybe inquire if his questioning ever went anywhere. The first thing a questioning friend needs is a good, nonjudging friend.

    And then, take one step at a time. Between "Maybe I'm not straight" and "lets experiment sexually", there's about five other steps. Don't jump ahead and first find out whether it was more than idle wondering in the first place.
     
  6. baddech

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    Talking about it doesn't work for everyone. From my experiences when it comes to trying gay experiementation with a curious friend, the less talk the better. But it depends on you , the friend and the chemistry between ya'll.

    For example this is what happened between me and my best friend.

    He: Hey bruh I've been trying to make a porn you wanna make one?
    Me: Sure.

    Later On At Home...

    He: wanna suck my dick bruh?
    Me: Sure. (unpants He)
    He: what's up bruh? (stares sexily into Me's eyes)
    Me: what's up bruh? (returns a sexy gaze)
    He: what's up bruh?
    Me: what's up bruh?
    He: what's up bruh?
    Me: Slurrp:***:

    and that was all it took the first time.

    He and Me aren't the kinds to waste a lot of time talking so really it depends on the friend. I'm not saying do it exactly like this but I am saying that there is more than one way to go about this. Don't just go with the major discussion because that's what seems like the right thing to do. You might just talk yourself out of an opportunity. Just sayin. :smilewave

    Besides if you wait for someone to conclude that they're not straight, you could be waiting decades or even a lifetime while they can conclude via someone else their sexuality. Also many people are never going to conclude they are any one thing sexually.
     
    #6 baddech, Dec 8, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2015