I am. As I have gotten to know here a little better I realize we are too different. The fact that our differences made a relationship unlikely was causing me pain before, but now that I realize that those differences are not just rejections of who I am, but that I also would not be happy in a relationship with a person exactly like her, it is a relief. I think the intensity of my feelings was because she represents a basic type of person I want to find, but it was an idealized version of her that I had fallen for. She is a very attractive kid, but still, compared to me, a kid. I think I could be in a relationship with a sizeable age difference (in either direction) but the maturity level needs to be closer. Now I feel less crazy, and I can work out a separation from my husband....I want to go to queer events and move about and mingle as a queer person, but I do not need to hook up with someone right away. I need to make more friends in the community, and learn the culture more. I will meet people along the way and eventually one of those women and I will click. (Another post will be about how I feel terrible about my husband situation and how wishy washy I am being...but this post is about positive change!!)
Good for you! Dealing with a trigger crush is essential. Putting my trigger crush into the "best friend" box has helped me immensely. Being aroun her before I did that was just torture. I finally feel ready to move forward.
That's really great that you can see and accept that your trigger crush isn't a completely compatible match. That's logic I wish I had with mine! She was a few years younger, and highly intelligent, but she was still in such a different place. She also had her own issues that made us incompatible, but I didn't want to see and accept it. Good for you!!
It's the person who made you realize that your sexuality wasn't what you may previously have thought. For example, I thought I was straight until I fell in love with a girl in college I became friendly with. Now I know I'm definitely not straight! She's the one who triggered my questioning and understanding of myself. Been feeling pretty gay ever since.
Hurrah! Au revoir trigggerrrr! I've got one - she's not my trigger but just a grossly inappropriate crush, really horrible person, I thought I was getting over it but nope still lusting after her. I must be truly insane.
