1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Have You Ever Lost A Partner Because of His/Her Religious Beliefs?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Open Arms, Dec 8, 2015.

  1. Open Arms

    Open Arms Guest

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2015
    Messages:
    493
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    I know gay Christians used to get the advice to leave anyone of the same sex that they loved. Not just break off the sexual relationship, but never even talk to them ever again. Just cut off all contact. Did any of you ever go through this? Did it turn you against Christianity and/or the Church?

    It always sounded so cruel to me. I know many former leaders of the disbanded organization Exodus now regret this. So much pain was inflicted by this advice.

    Now that views are changing among many Christians, and gay marriage is possible in many states and countries, would you consider re-uniting with the former partner if she/he were still open to it?
     
  2. rachael1954

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2015
    Messages:
    315
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    NYC
    I never knew this but I heard of the 'therapists' and 'camps' they sent you to. Some friends had to go through it to pray the gay away, and yes, it turned them against the church, but they are still good people.

    I know my family said that gays are evil and if they have evil urges like that they should just avoid relationships altogether and live a celibate life. Not sure how much that messed with my head but there it is.

    Is there someone that you're asking for? I hope the best for that person in the situation.
     
  3. Brightlights

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2015
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    As heart breaking as it is, I have lost EVERY person that I have loved.
    Why? Because I am a gay Christian. I get so consumed with the guilt that I break it off. hav came to the conclusion I will never love.
     
  4. Julietta

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2015
    Messages:
    87
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Nope but I could never date someone religious. I mean nothing more than a token nod to the religion they were raised in. Plenty of my friends were raised Catholic, Christian, Jewish, a few Hindu, Sikh, Muslim, and celebrate festivals or follow some traditions but I can't say as they 'BELIEVE'. Some even follow Buddhism or Rastafarianism as philosophies which is interesting. But I can't bear evangelical people and as an atheist if someone truly truly believed, it would not lay the foundation for a friendship, never mind relationship.
     
    #4 Julietta, Dec 8, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2015
  5. Open Arms

    Open Arms Guest

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2015
    Messages:
    493
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    "I can't bear evangelical people". Ouch Julietta! There is a difference between evangelical and fundamentalist which many people don't realize.

    I don't think I could make a blanket statement like that for any group except for maybe
    "I can't bear anyone who supports ISIS. "

    I agree in order for a close relationship to work well common beliefs and values are very important.

    "I have lost EVERY person that I have loved." Ouch Brightlights! I'm so sorry to hear that.
    Maybe we should talk? There must be a solution to that.

    Hi Rachel1954, No, I'm not asking on my own behalf. I have not been rejected in a relationship because of the other person's beliefs, nor my own. I know it's happened to some people though.

    Thanks for the replies.
     
  6. rachael1954

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2015
    Messages:
    315
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    NYC
    So sorry to hear that. I can't stand the world sometimes, and this is precisely why. Sending you well wishes and hugs. If they are worth it they will accept you for who you are, but at the same time it sucks.
     
  7. guitar

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    2,062
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Southern Ontario, Canada
    I went on a date with a guy I really liked. Had a lot in common, was going well. Then he mentioned religion. He said his relationship with Christ was very important, he went to church every Sunday and expected his partner to do the same, yada yada. I told him I was an agnostic/atheist but didn't really care what he believed. I've dated people of varying religiosity through my life. Anyways, that was a massive turn off for him and it was basically the death of anything between us.
     
  8. greatwhale

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2013
    Messages:
    6,582
    Likes Received:
    413
    Location:
    Montreal
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    My first ever serious dating experience was with a devoutly Catholic guy (just how devout I would find out later), originally from Latin America and which lasted 7 weeks. He was really sweet, and we had a good time together, but after hearing one too many negative comments about Jews I had had enough, it turns out he had a whole list of things that were wrong with me but that he would accept anyway (including my being a Jew, presumably)...he was very categorical about it all in the long breakup letter that he wrote.

    A really odd person altogether...
     
  9. Weston

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2014
    Messages:
    433
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Seattle
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    @GW
    Sounds like you were well rid of him!
     
  10. PatrickUK

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2014
    Messages:
    6,943
    Likes Received:
    2,362
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    My husband doesn't share my views on religion at all. While I go to church on a Sunday he stays at home and plays computer games. :lol:

    It should be possible for an agnostic/athiest to have a relationship with a reasonable person of faith. Providing there is respect on both sides for the difference in opinion, it can work just fine.