Cross Generational Gay Relationships

I think the thing I've seen come up more than anything else around here is that your best bet is with somebody 25 or older, since any younger and that person generally doesn't have their life figured out and so much can change. You risk being heartbroken, though I suppose you risk that no matter what.

That said, I was pretty close myself to being in a relationship with an 18 year old (I'm 32). It didn't happen, mostly because I wasn't single at the time, but it was there for the taking. And who knows if it would have worked out or not. But I do know a couple that got together when one guy was 16 and the other 30, and they're still together and happily married now (and the younger guy is my age now). Really I think it's like any other relationship. As long as everybody is legally an adult, you can take your chances.

 

I am 25 and I can certainly feel attraction to guys 45 years old and up. My only rules is for them to treat us equally and not a child, never think that you are more superior due to your life experiences, and be loyal and faithful (unless you aren't into monogamy)

 

I think it depends on the situation. So many people can be much more mature than their chronological age would suggest. That goes as well for people behaving younger than their actual age. I think what is most important is that both partners share like minded goals and are at a compatible place in life.

 

Its all about the maturity level and, as Ryuji35 just articulate, mutual respect. My partner and I are engaged, he is 28 and I am 45. We have been together for 2 years. He has a very high degree of emotional intelligence, and that compliments well with my pragmatism.

 

I know I wonder a lot about what age range I should focus on when I'm ready to just be out there. I'm a father of 3 girls, and I'm not looking for another young'un to raise, nor do I want to make someone feel as tho I'm looking for a co-parent for my kids. I don't feel like I'm almost 40, so in that sense I kinda want someone younger than me, but at the same time I'm not looking for someone that lives for the clubs or anything. That never has been my scene. All in all, you just want to find someone who compliments you the best. I can see beauty in whatever age someone is. I absolutely adore someone like Harrison Ford, and at the opposite end, I find someone like Grant Gustin completely adorable. Its just about finding someone that accentuates the best parts of you.

 

i did not focus on age after I came out and started dating. I met different people, different ages, like trying on different suits to see what fit. And just allowed things to progress naturally with those that I met.

 

I don't see myself dating anytime soon. I think a lot of my hesitation is with being a parent, finding someone my kids feel comfortable around and like. Until my kids are grown and out of the house, that is still something to consider.

 

I accidentally fell in love with a much younger guy, 20 year difference. He happened to be the guy I came out to and I think that was part of the attraction. I am not all that attracted to guys my own age. My thoughts are if you love someone and they love you back and they are of legal age then go for it. Love knows no age. Good luck!

 

It really depends on the age of both parties. Once someone has reached their mid-late 20's it's generally okay to assume they are mature enough to handle a relationship with an age gap and as time goes on it becomes less and less of an issue. The main problem lies in relationships involving a very young person (late teen's/early 20's) and an older person. As a rule, people in their teens and early 20's are still working through issues connected to their personal growth and development and may lack the necessary maturity and confidence to make an age gap relationship work. More often than not these sort of relationships fail and the younger person ends up getting badly hurt and set back in life.

Many people will say age doesn't matter, but sometimes it does matter - a lot. Older people should definitely avoid relationships with very young people.

 

Dan Savage has a very good prescription for cross-generational relationships. He calls it the Campsite Rule:

"In a relationship with a large age and/or experience gap, the older partner/more experienced partner has the responsibility to leave the younger/less experienced partner in at least as good a state (emotionally and physically) as before the relationship. The campsite rule includes things like leaving the younger/less experienced partner with no STDs, no unwanted pregnancies, and not overburdening them with emotional and sexual baggage."

 

I'm in my mid-50's but a number of things make me look, act, at feel younger. I was an athlete as a young man and have always worked out. I didn't shave until i was 24...kind of a baby face. I'm just a young soul...I like new things, new experiences, new friends. I like to laugh and get excited at sporting events. I've had a career change and become successful again. I don't know, I think I give off a good energy and always have. So, My guess is that younger guys find that attractive. Note to younger guys....don't call your older partner daddy.

 

There's definitely something in cross generational relationships, ever since I first started started fantasising about men, it was always a much older guy I would imagine being with. Whether just fantasy or something I could act on I'm really not sure.

 

Hi there! My wife and I are almost eight years apart, and have a loving, healthy, exciting relationship. Like you, she came into her identity later in life, whereas I was raised in an accepting household and have known who I am since a very young age. You would think that in an age-gap situation, it would be the older person mentoring the younger person, but it's often the other way around. Young people who know all the ins and outs of the new queer terminology and are full of righteous courage, who have a penchant for loud statements of pride and are drawn to activism, end up guiding and mentoring the older queer people who are still trying to seem "normal." One of the greatest joys of my life was bringing my wife out of her shell, taking her to community events and activism rallies, convincing her that, yes, it's okay to wear the rainbow t-shirt to the grocery store, and it's okay to kiss me on the street. I got to watch her bloom into who she really is, and that is such a beautiful thing to share with someone. Are there young people who flock toward older people because they're looking for a sugar daddy or a sugar momma to spoil them? Sure. It happens in the gay community just like it happens in the straight community. But usually I think there's a genuine connection happening. We bring out the best in each other.

 

I think it depends on your maturity level. I'm very mature for my age and I really can't stand most people my age. My closest friend is actually a few years older than me and I've always been attracted to older women because I believe they're more mature and independent. So I'll hazard a guess that it's the same with liking older guys.