I live in an area where there aren't a lot of gay people. So I spend a lot of time on apps and dating sites trying to meet people. I get chatting to guys, but when it comes to planning a meetup it never happens. Our working schedules clash or something else comes up and they can't make it. so I end up going on trips into town by myself, walking around by myself, going into pubs by myself, drinking by myself and heading home by myself. I can't see myself having a relationship, I can't even get a date. And I'm getting bored and lonely and miserable. It's affecting my working life because I do my hours and get frustrated and have nobody to talk about my day with, nobody to escape to. Being single never bothered me when I was younger because I liked spending time alone and I always thought I'd meet someone eventually and it'll happen when it happens. But it hasn't happened. And I'm getting bored of my own company.
I hear ya there. I work 70 hour weeks and when I'm off, usually just wanna kick back and die a little til I get up the next day and do it all again.
Ive been feeling this too. I was mever crazy bothered with being single because I just thought love just wouldnt happen for me. And now I know why I thought that so now I feel like Im desperate and wanting to have a relationship NOW. On the flip, have you tried joining any clubs/activities? Not specific to lgbt but more like interests? Like painting class or a workout class or anything fun?
Dorset is nice ... a bit like Sussex where I grew up and I can imagine the people "just like you" are pretty invisible. You probably pass them by every day in the street not knowing. So it probably takes a bit of asserting yourself to make something happen. You could continue exploring the apps, but they are not for everyone trying social websites like meetup and have you looked at outeverywhere? then there are organised activities. Like gay hiking groups (gayoutdoorclub) taking up new hobbies or interests - even NON LGBT - that just expand your social circles generally and improve your chances of meeting gay people along the way. Sitting in a pub on your own is pretty demoralising - you just need to approach things from a different angle. I'm sure things would change for the better pretty soon
Well I always think that if people back when there was less communication around were able to manage a relationship, then surely anything is possible. Just don't stress about it so much and keep trying. Sometimes you have to really put an effort in if you really want something. And sometimes it takes time, just never give up. And who knows, don't they say love comes when you least expect it?
No you're not! Go mingle! Also, try to start picturing yourself being with someone. If you can't picture it, that may be why it doesn't seem realistic to you. Do that thing they make athletes do where they visualize what they want, and getting that thing.
I second what Soundofmusic and bingostring said. Try new activities just for the hell of it. Some might be exciting, some awkward, some scary, some unexpectedly fun - but just for the hell of it. Think of it as a way to just see what kind of people are there, how the atmosphere is and how you like the activity. If you have an awful time, you don't have to come a second time. But you will meet a lot of different people who'll surprise you If you want something new and fresh to happen, you must do something new and fresh. Go for it!
Yeah, I've tried going into busy cities to explore their gay scene. Not much going on, in fact, some of the gay pubs have closed down in recent years. Meetup is no good for my area because there aren't a lot of events going on, and the ones that do get planned are usually at times I'm not available. In the new year I'll be working much less hours so will hopefully have some time to try out new activities. I guess the season is getting me down. This time last year I was unemployed, and I just scraped through the Christmas period. Now I am working, and have been working stressful hours, and still have nobody to share with and open up to. Not even any gay friends. I'm finding it hard to get excited.
It's funny when you thought you're the only one feeling down on a good Christmas Season to find someone like you who can actually relate. I am not sure if it helps to say that "I feel you" or "I am in the same boat" and stuff, but guess you should know that you are, in fact, not alone. The world is a crazy system. I am yet to decipher the reason why some of us just have to feel sad and lonely while others are blessed and happy. I just don't know why it has to be that way. But it will just kill us if we think about it or force an answer to this very question. I wanted to say "Pray to God" and stuff like that but not everyone is religious. I just hope there is one great answer to this. So we can at least have a relief that there is a purpose to this kind of feeling. Being gay is hard enough, add to that being sad, depressed and not to mention life's hardships. I mean I want to just go to the top of a mountain and shout "WHATT THE F***********CFK!!" Anyway, we have no choice but to live and wake up each morning with the hope that there will be a door that will open and everything, I mean everything will change for the better. In my case, I hold on to my belief that God is real, and He can hear me. So, I pester him with prayers everyday until He hears me.
