I'm trying to be patient, but I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever find anyone. I've never been in a relationship and decided this year I'd try for one. I knew being in the closet was going to make it very difficult, so I came out and joined an online dating site in May. I've since joined a 2nd one. I went out with 1 guy for 3 months, but nothing ever came of it. The only other interest I've gotten is from guys who either weren't local or not what I'm looking for. It never bothered me before, but now that I'm making an effort, spending the holidays without someone special is depressing me a little. Being disabled (I have MS) is making it harder too. My straight friends with MS also find it tough to find someone. Some had a spouse leave them after their diagnosis because they were afraid of having to take care of them if their condition got worse. I do have one gay friend whose partner has CP, so I know it's not impossible to find someone when you have a disability, but it will probably take longer. I'm trying to go to gay social events, since meeting someone in person will certainly work better that the online thing. Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of them in our local area. I just joined our local gay men's chorus as a behind the scenes volunteer (I'm not a very good singer).
I think it's fantastic that you are getting involved, if I may, I would suggest that you set aside the "seeking" and start focusing on enjoying what you are doing. Finding someone is first and foremost about an openness of mind and heart, and in this sense, (to Quote Pasteur) "chance favors the prepared mind". Your disability will only scare off the people who you would not want to get to know anyway, those that take the time to get to know you will likely be the kind of person you may want as something more than a friend. Let chance work its magic, go to parties, or put one together, do interesting stuff (you're more likely to find interesting people). The trick is to set aside goal-seeking behaviour and start putting all your attention on the present moment. Things usually start happening that way...
I think you are doing a great job getting out there and being social. I think greatwhales point is well considered.
Thanks. I hear what you're saying and have heard it from others. It does make a lot of sense. I guess I just wanted to vent a little. I know it will probably happen when I'm least expecting it. I'm just hoping it doesn't take years.
I would trust in what greatwhale said. Be true to yourself and live life the way you are comfortable and relationships, good relationships will follow. As a fellow upstater, I realize how tough this can be here. I hope it doesn't take years either - for me and you both. Take care. Vent anytime!
