Hi This may seem strange and I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say ? I've always enjoyed male company - and am starting to think I enjoy it more than female company ? Now that I am out something has shifted where because I'm not available to men anymore can relax and just enjoy being friends with guys ... I find them less complicated - more like minded and in many ways I have more in common with them my male part is stronger than I thought - I like map reading - outdoor pursuits - ecology and would consider myself a Tom boy Often find women ( and no offence meant here - I'm just trying to explore where I'm coming from Fluffy - that they go on too much - not that solution focused and spmehow foreign to me -- I identify as 35% male ( strange percentage I know -- Seems what I'm wanting is to know its ok to be like this and be friends with men -- is this acceptable ? Probably because I've spent my life up until now ( 42 yrs with the premise that females would be my friends and males were to be kept at arms length in case they got the wrong idea .. Now I don't have that agenda - I feel really happy to have male friends and enjoy them -- But should I still be making a lot of effort to connect with women -- I'm worried I'll end up with a lack of female friends and I'll be missing out -- on what though I'm not sure Signed from a confused newly out gay women
I've almost always enjoyed males more than females for just hanging out. I don't feel second-guessed or that they are going to go complain about our interaction to someone afterward. I think it's normal. But sometimes even if I don't flirt with them they get the wrong idea from me hanging out with them. I think you can and should be friends with men. I often find myself daydreaming when women friends go on and on about something... yet I can go on about something too! The thing about great friends is, you don't have to make a ton of effort... when you have a lot in common with someone it's easy to tell almost right away, and although every relationship has ups and downs, friendship is given more space and has less pressure in that way, so it's a great source of support!
Why wouldn't it be OK to be friends with guys? It's totally fine. You're not like betraying your sisterhood or something. Unless you, I don't know, help them plan female oppression, heh.
I think I feel 'I should have more female friends but am making more male friends ... I like it though !!
Well, when you're lesbian, they are "safe" friends for you to have. You can hang and not have to worry about sexual overtones. I used to have that with straight women when I didn't know I was bi and I loved that feeling. I miss a "safe" space and I'm glad you found one.
I don't really worry about it. I hang out with people I like and who have similar interests. Don't really care what gender they are. Tho, I will say at this stage in life when most of the people in my peer group are married off or at least in some sort of long term relationship, friendships with guys can be hard to maintain unless I'm also friends with their wives/girlfriends, because a lot of women are a bit leery of having their husbands pal around with other women. I suppose the same might be true of lesbians, but I don't have any lesbian friends who I'm not friends with both people who are in a relationship, so haven't really had that experience.
