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Coming Out of Lurker-hood

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by ThatGirlShauna, Dec 24, 2015.

  1. ThatGirlShauna

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I've been lurking here for a while, and wanted to officially poke my head in and say hello. And happy holidays! I know this season is rough for many, myself included, but wanted to give a warm greeting to all of you.

    As I said, I've been lurking here for a while, kind of afraid to post, or afraid to make it "official".

    The sort version of my story is that I'm 31, and recently accepted that I am a lesbian. I'm married to a man (for almost 10 years) and have 2 kids (aged 5 and 3). I haven't told my husband yet, and I'm afraid to. I have promised myself that I will tell him in 2016, no matter what that means. I don't want to stay with him, I want to be with a woman. I want to feel like I can really just be ME. Sometimes I still go back and forth in thinking maybe I can just be bi and stay with my husband. But I don't think I can pretend anymore. I also had a bit of an encounter with a woman I really like, and it kind of confirmed for me that, yeah, I really really really am a lesbian.

    I get so jealous of people who figure it all out when they are younger. Or who figure it out before settling in a marriage and having kids. It just feels so huge to face this thing. But I'm so tired of being depressed and suppressing who I am, and living a life that feels inauthentic.

    Sorry for the novella, but just wanted to give a little introduction here. I'm really happy to have found this place a couple months ago. It's always a relief to know you're not the only one!
     
  2. IrishJ

    Full Member

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    Welcome to EC Shauna,

    As I am sure you realize lurking about there are many, many of us here in all states of matrimony and coming out/out etc. Just know that we are all here for each other especially over the holidays and during times of tribulation and success.

    Wishing you well - J
     
  3. Chicagoblue

    Full Member

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    Your story is very similar to mine, and I would venture many others' on here. So glad you poked your head out.
     
  4. ThatGirlShauna

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2015
    Messages:
    42
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    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thank you, both. One of the things that has brought me comfort is knowing there are others here going through the same thing. I think having support is super important, and I'm grateful to have found this board.
     
  5. Magenta Mucus

    Full Member

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    Welcome to the Empty Closets. I can only imagine how it must feel to only figure it out when you're older instead of at my age. We are all here to support you :wink:
     
  6. idsm

    Full Member

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    I used to do that, too! :icon_redf
    I actually started posting anonymously before actively engaging in threads.

    :welcome:
     
  7. bi2me

    Full Member

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    Welcome (as a poster)! We are glad to be able to help and support you. :slight_smile: