Messing with my head

Have you tried giving her any hints or being proactive? You do not mention that you have, only what she has been doing. Maybe she is waiting for a sign from you?

 

Give her a kiss, what is the worst that could happen? She very well may be have similar feelings to the energy that you are giving off.. - J

 

I know how you feel. It's so confusing. I was in the same boat as you. At several points it became obvious that someone else was more interesting to her than I was, so when someone else came along on my end and showed genuine interest in me through action (making a consistent effort to keep in touch, showing interest in actually getting to know me, and finally asking me out several times), I didn't stick around for said head-messer to keep messing.

Find someone who knows what they want, that "what" being you.

 

Some people do erratic behavior like that on purpose. They think it's amusing or attractive to confuse you and keep you off balance. It is not.

After a while, most people would just get tired of the bs and move on, leaving the head gamer alone with their games. So they ultimately lose out. And that leaves me scratching my head...why do they do it? Why act all distant and aloof if you actually like someone? It makes no sense. Why annoy and frustrate them? It doesn't seem to be a winning strategy.

 

Unfortunately, people like this are usually playing games.

I agree with all that Shadowsylke said. I don't know what exactly the aim in this behavior is. My trigger crush was like this -- very romantic in her gestures, alluding to non-platonic 'desires' from me, lingering eye contact (so seductive that it is forever seared into my brain), hand holding and other touching that I wouldn't even do with my BEST friend. A lot of this turned into a year of extreme confusion, and ultimately, heart break.

The fact that this person knows how you feel, yet still acts this way without moving forward or keeping your feelings in mind (because they still act romantic), is highly suggestive of being a gamer. Someone who likes to keep the relationship in limbo, because they're not quite sure they're into you, but like knowing and having the attention of someone who is into them.

Maybe that's not how it is, though. Perhaps she is into you and waiting for you to make a move? I say do it, or talk about your feelings and ask if she feels the same at all. It's hard to do, because we don't always like the answer. But whatever you do, don't stay in a relationship that's so questionable. You'll just wind up wasting a lot of emotional energy.

 

I'd ask you the following question: Does this person have other people who might be in the same "limbo" as you around? Do they use triangulation (trying to make you jealous by giving someone else the attention they know you want right in front of you)? Does it seem like they get bored of your attention at any point? Does she ever give you the silent treatment or ignore you, only to somehow strangely know just the right moment to contact you again, usually just as you're about to give up?

There is one indicator of interest that is usually foolproof: Does the person in question make an effort to spend time with you or talk to you, showing an interest in who you are as a person? Or is it all about what you can give her?

@YeapIdk: Hey! Don't call players gamers. They're two very different things: players break hearts; gamers play computer and video games as a hobby.

 

@PlaidGlove Hahahahaha. As soon as I wrote that I was like, "Mmmm, sounds like I'm talking about a video gamer. Nope. Still gonna say it."

Video gamers aside -- when in doubt, just listen to Taylor Swift:

"And the players gonna play, play, play, play, play. Just shake it off..."

...wise words.