Well his reaction is his own, it's not for me to judge how he processes this information...but after telling him in tears that I am really confused and that I feel like having relationships with woman is a real desire...I was expecting communication, maybe some comfort (my head is spinning with confusion), at least something like "we will get through this together" But he has not spoken to me for 2 days, cannot look me in the eye and I feel his love slipping away.... I told him to talk when he is ready...but he has basically left me emotionally responsible for the kids, all household duties with no signs of communication happening soon.
I'm sorry to hear this hun. Hugs to you (*hug*) Please understand that while you've had years to process your feelings, you dropped a bomb on him and he needs time to gather and process his feelings. He needs his space right now.
If he will listen, you can suggest the straight spouse network. There are support groups on there and my husband has found it very helpful. In the very least it keeps them from feeling like they are the only one going through this.
I'm so sorry to hear you're in pain. Even though your experience must be excruciating, I want to congratulate you on your courageous decision and action to tell him, thus being honest with yourself and your husband. Being in pain may kind of force your husband to focus on himself, but if he has the (capacity for) emotional maturity needed for facing and processing this situation, he will come around and realize that this is not about him, that while he may feel it amounts to a rejection of him as a man, this is about you and you alone.
I don't think there can ever be and easy way to say it to a partner. When I came out to my wife she was really accepting. But a few months later I was struggling a bit, tried to explane what I was feeling and she hit the roof. Be strong, you did the right thing by being honest.
Ugh. I'm really sorry to hear his reaction has left you feeling alone. Do you have other support networks? I realize it's not the same as your partner who has likely been your chief support in other matters and with whom you share your home. Best of luck in finding your path. Let me know if there's anything I/we can do to help be that support in the meantime...
Thank you all so much for you kind words...we have spoken a bit this morning, but again he is quiet tonight and drinking. It seems we both have a lot of soul searching to do. He has admitted to not being happy...or rather to have never been happy in his life...this is gonna be a hard journey I think. The kids are doing well, but you know they can pick up on so much without us realizing so I am trying to be really mindful of that.
Do you think he'd heck out this site? Straight Spouse Network (Did I say this already? If so, pls ignore duplicate.)
Yes, so much this. I'm so sorry his reaction wasn't great, but I don't blame him for being upset. It's a lot to process. Take care. I hope he's willing to talk soon.
