What the hell happened to dating?!

I haven't started in the dating scene yet, but I don't think I have any plans to use an app. Call me old fashioned, but I like dinner and all the rest of it.

You're not alone.

 

I haven't been in a relationship and I haven't dated, yet. But when I do, I want to go for dinners. It's one thing I want to experience and I have no qualms about admitting it. So I think there's nothing wrong in sticking by it.

 

You are lol. I'm the same as you, idk what's wrong with people anymore, it's like no one gives a shit about dating anymore -it's all about hooking up. It's stupid.

 

Online dating can be a game of mine sweep. Don't put it on yourself. "sure thing" sounds like a half-baked ting to say from a person who's not 100% behind an idea. Its possible for dating sites to be all about hooking up, especially of that site is what it's meant for. (You know the types of sites I mean)

Just make sure when you create a profile that you say something along the lines of: not looking to hook up or fool around. I am looking for someone who feels the same.

It's a good thing to initiate first, it shows you have motivation. Keep your head up. Not all gay men are just looking to hook up or for immediate gratification.

 

I'm with you: I want some fun, relaxed, enjoyable, romantic dating — nothing wrong or strange about that.

(Lunches, dinners, teas/coffees, movies, eating ice cream, hiking, walking, sitting in a park under a full moon, just talking and being...)

 

Been on two dates. Both times it was ok drinks something to eat and when so we Fxxk.

I'm like you, I want to have a relationship. Find a soul mate.

What's wrong with that?

 

Oh my god. That is the biggest issue with our kind. Sadly the vast majority are either only into sex, or too timid to make a move. And most of the good guys are in the latter category. It's frustrating but I suppose that with the mass homophobia many of us were raises with, going out on dates or asking a guy out isn't always the most natural thing. It'll change with time I'd imagine as acceptance becomes a norm. In any case man don't get discouraged. Lol so what if it's a sex and the city episode? Be a less promiscuous Samantha who dates around and explores the world. What's the worst you can do going on a lot of dates? Accidently run into your Big? Either way, I really feel that being assertive and making the first move is a good thing and I hope you enjoy your dates- they may not be Mr right but I've met a few good guys who became long time friends
Cheers

 

Here is a timely article in the topic:

How to Find Love as a Gay Man in the Hookup Generation

 

I really admire people who can ask others out without any problem. It takes a lot of courage to do that. Me, I probably can't. Maybe if I know they're gay and have a means to ask them out without saying it in person...

 

Great article! I have this theory that gay men who had no hope of marriage kind of fell into the hook-up mentality, and many are still stuck there.

Sex is the end game way too often, not just for gay men but young straight men too.

Dating and romance and togetherness times are so much fun, and what is a greater turn-on than the sexual tension of waiting.

I also think all the porn people watch from a young age already has dampened the whole sexual experience for many. Sex experts call it overexposure.

If you are very clear in your ad as to what you want, you might get the right match.

 

Met someone on a hook up app, and had the best date ever. A three or four hour lunch date. Lots of talking and getting to know about each other. Dates are out there, ya just got to find them.

 

My theory is that rather than having no hope of marriage, singles all too often are not being flexible nor open minded enough to accept that real relationships are based on give and take, and using a checklist to find a partner is counterproductive, leading them to be incompatible with forming meaningful long lasting bonds with others.

 

I've also theorized this.

---------- Post added 7th Jan 2016 at 02:06 AM ----------

There is also probably a lot of merit to this thought. I get the feeling, indeed, that some people dating would find even the perfect person unacceptable...

 

There are also a lot of guys I have met that were also perfectly happy being single. They are comfortable doing things their own way, living their life making their own decisions, and like the freedom that being single represents.

 

i can relate somewhat, i would love to go on a date, for dinner, or just coffee, maybe a movie or a walk just holding hands or just being together, maybe a some cuddleing. i figure the sex part will take care of itself as long as you're prepared etc. no pressure. i want the romance in ways never could have imagined when i was 20.

 

Yeah, this. Sex should only be an extension of liking guys, not the entire point. I too would prefer a bit of love, romance, and affection. The hook up culture is kind of a turn off for me.

 

You're not old fashioned, I'm 18 and still prefer dates but just not willing to meet people in person because last time I tried that I got attacked so I use apps and take a lot of precautions before meeting people in person.

 

Hm. While I understand that many here want to do the whole 'traditional' dating before sex thing, bear in mind that different people may have different tastes (and we are talking about something that is truly just a matter of taste), either in general or just at a particular moment in their lives.

Some people may be perfectly happy just doing hookups (at least at this particular point in their lives). Others may prefer to have sex first and date afterward if they click with the person they're with or if things develop that way. Some want to date first and do sex later. Etc.

I bring this up because there are times when the rhetoric around here starts to sound both highly judgmental and not so very different from the kind of stuff we hear from conservative straights who presume/claim that a person's sexual orientation defines their character in all things and can explain all aspects of their personality (usually in terms of them being damaged or otherwise 'lesser' in some way). Which doesn't strike me as a good or desirable thing to have happen.

By all means, handle your personal relationships in whatever manner you think best and that you find most fulfilling. But perhaps also do it in a manner that is not predicated on looking down on anyone else who follows a path that is different from yours.

Todd