Have been devouring everything I can on midlife crisis stuff (it helps me avoid the elephant in the room of my sexuality and marriage), and the recent codependency discussions have emboldened me to post this. Not sure if others find it interesting/relevant, but just putting it out here. 1. At midlife, life in general has to change. 2. And at midlife, relationships have to change and develop. Based on these two things, my own dark night of the soul midlife crisis and/or coming out of the closet was basically guaranteed. I was always happy to do anyone's bidding, and suddenly I am rebellious. The whole Anima/Animus thing I think can really have to do with my coming out. If I am bi or lesbian, perhaps the Animus side of me was feeling neglected after being with a man all my life. My masculine side now is rejoicing in the new found release found in my less restricted sexuality. I can see myself getting depressed if I try to push myself back into the pigeon-hole (closet?) I was in before. If anyone finds these theories relevant to their own experience, please share your thoughts! "Midlife" can be a range of ages.
I have found that when I'm not embracing my queerness, I feel more down in general. As I worked through my sexuality last fall and winter, I felt better for a while. Then, my husband was overwhelmed by it, so I backed off. Then early spring, I started feeling more and more depressed (and overwhelmed) with my (lack of) life. I resolved to focus more on me, keep pushing to make my sexuality more open to the world, even if I don't officially come out to anyone else, and keep the conversation moving with my husband in ways that feel safe(r) to both of us. I'd have to read more about the Anima/Animus thing (I'm not remembering much of what I'd learned in the past) to have more of an opinion, but I can definitely relate to closets being suffocating. (*hug*)
