And I'm talking about emotional/sexual maturity here. I'm not sure if I'm worried about this, or if I'm just thinking about it for the first time, or what, but it is something that I've been a little concerned about. As a newly out 30 year old, how can I match my stage in life with having a job and bills and all that with my emotional and sexual maturity, which feels like a 19 year old's? If I find a guy who I like who's been out for a while, it feels like he'd be way ahead of me sexually and emotionally. Is that a recipe for a successful relationship? Part of me thinks I should be hooking up with some college kid, which would be hot, but I know that that would be crazy. This is weird... Maybe it would make more sense if I just started dating...
I feel as if I could hug you Exact same dilemma at my end. Nearly-30, out-to-important-people, and trying to figure out life-stage differences. For me though, the worry is the opposite one - that most of the young 'uns (say, 19-22) just won't be able to connect with me after a point. A gap of 7 to 10 years cannot be wished away with all the goodwill in the world. Have you thought about looking at the +/- 5 (or 6-7) kind of range? On the younger side the person would at least have finished undergrad and be either working or studying for grad school, on the older side he would probably be comfortably in a career. I think you'd be able to better empathize with both kinds of people rather than a just-entering-college guy. Again, you might meet uncommonly mature people who might be really young but in my (somewhat limited) experience, that's difficult and depends a lot on several other factors. I'd agree with the go-for-a-date and take-it-slow approach and see what YOU are like around different people. Might help you find your footing as a newly-out gay man. Hooking up, and I might be in a minority here, too quickly at this life-stage almost seems like a waste sometimes because what if there's no connect beyond the physical one? Having spoken to a few people I get the impression that they might hook up now and then (and that too after a few dates) but it's often with people relatively closer to their own age range, and even then some seem to have shifted to the looking-for-something-more-stable approach. Anyhow, those were my two cents. What do you think? And good luck
As you recognised, probably not something to worry about per se, but certainly something to be aware of. Closeteer seems to have some good thoughts on how to deal with it. But in any case, don't let it stop you from exploring, meeting people, etc.
I've thought about this as well because when I first came out, I was 18, so I only dated people who were either a year or two younger/older than me. And being 29, I still feel the same way because what could we possibly have in common if you're not from the 80's baby!!! (!!) Just kidding, no seriously...my last girlfriend was 22 and I was 27, and it only lasted for 6 months because I could not get over the fact that she was so young. Not only that, we were in different places in life. Hmm...perhaps, you should just start dating, as long as they're of drinking age
