I don't know if I'm gay or not

Hi Adz - I am in a similar (though not same) situation as you: have been with my partner for years, but have finally acknowledged after many years of same sex fantasies that I am bisexual. But also have never acted on them, so it still feels very abstract. I came out to her, and though it has only a short time, she has been very understanding. However, my outing came after some prompting, so if you are still unsure of your thoughts, I think it would definitely benefit you to speak to a therapist first. I have since started seeing one, and it's really nice to be able to express thoughts to a disinterested third party.

Of course, this is coming from someone who is also still a bit disoriented.

 

Since your current situation is causing you distress, I definitely think it would help to speak to a therapist. As to whether you're straight, gay or bi, many people put great store by the kind of porn that turns you on, which in your case, seems to be exclusively gay.

 

I second Weston's comments and your own thought process. A therapist might be in good order.

Based on what your saying, where you have been fighting gay thoughts for a long time, it certainly sounds like you have strong gay tendencies, and being gay or straight is not necessarily black or white, there is a bit of grey.

 

Hello Adz, to add my thoughts, take time to interview therapists in you area until you find one that you are comfortable with. You may want to speak with them about their experience and style of therapy regarding your discovery process and growth - J

 

HI,
I am in a similar circumstances-55yrs old, married to a great woman been together since 2001. I have repressed my bisexual feelings for most of my life. I have had sex with more than 100 woman, and a couple of men. But most of my deep sexual fantasies involve group sex & male-to-male contact. I recently came out as bi to my therapist. She is very supportive. You might feel better speaking to a therapist to sort out your confusion. I am finding there are no simple answers to these complex issues. Best of Luck.

 

Hey there buddy. You are not alone in this. I am in the same situation you described. I look at women in the mall and fantasize about men when comes to sexual desires. I have known this about myself since I was little looking back now. Loved wearing mom's clothes and all that stuff. I have many encounters with one boy when I was very young and then was taught by the world GAY IS BAD!!! so I pushed it down. Had some opportunities in college but never acted on them. Kicking myself now. Don't want to hurt wife and Kid. Love Love Love all over you!!

 

I agree with the comments above.
Seeing a therapist sounds like the right thing to do. Talking it over sometimes puts things into perspective.

I´ve suppressed my gay feelings, for a long time. I thought I might not ever need to acknowledge them but keeping those feelings inside is so hard.
After years of questionning, I now know I´m gay - even though I´m not out yet.

And this forum is the right place for you to talk. I´m new here too.
A lot of people here can give you great advice and share their experiences.

 

Here's my short answer. I'm 51, same type issues. Your Gay. Accept it and enjoy it.