worried if a great friendship will change if I tell her I´m a lesbian

It largely depends on the friend but yeah, I have noticed changes. Much less dancing "with me" and more dancing with the big group, one friend doesn't hug me hello or goodbye anymore. I'm a fairly touchy-feely person, so I noticed right away. But I have other friends who are completely the same.

It's not really predictable, but it definitely changes things for some. I wish I could say it didn't. My better friends, the friends I know are my supports, didn't change all that much.

 

I wonder if you might be safer from a changed relationship because you're related. It's not like a friend who might now think you're attracted to them because if you were straight and she were a guy, nobody would think you two were couple-able, right?

You could mention that you're so glad you two are such good friends because you can use all the friends you can get, right about now. Emphasize somehow the high value you place on her friendship.

 

I agree with Really.
Since you are within family, if you told her, there most likely will be a situation where any one or both may feel awkward afterwards but no way to part/never have to talk again.

I am going through this now. Told her I was attracted to her, she rejected me nicely, offering to listen if I ever needed to talk.
In addition to having to cope with my feelings, I've felt very awkward. Avoided seeing her for few weeks completely, then slowly got myself into normal routine. It's been almost 2 months now and I am making progress.

I now like the fact that 80 percent of the time I can be fine without having to consider if she'll be in same area, hate to avoid places just because of someone else.
However, have not spoken to her at all - don't know how to or if I even want to. The experience of telling her was way too personal and I feel almost naked while she is around.
I feel bad not talking to her, don't want her to think I am mean, because it is mostly due to awkwardness, and trying not t make her feel uncomfortable.
All this with a non related person, just an acquaintance of mine.

I understand it must be so difficult for you to hold these feelings..
Maybe try to distance yourself by seeing her less and doing other activities, seeing other people. Distance and time may smooth things out on its own.
Would not do the talk with relative, but that's just my opinion..

 

It sounds like you are feeling pretty uncomfortable with not telling her. That "feeling dishonest" thing is probably worth paying attention to, particularly in a relationship that means this much to you. I do think it'll help that you two are related. It is still possible of course that she won't be as comfortable with physical affection and it sounds like that would be a real loss for you. As I think about this my mind keeps coming back to this thought--tell her what's up and then you'll learn what is possible in your relationship with her once she knows about this important piece of you. Hopefully that means she'll still be able to love and support you as she has in the past! And if she can't, it sounds like it might be time for you to learn that. Big hugs! I'd love to hear what you decide to do!

 

She really cares about you, so I think you could tell her.

Almost all of my straight gal friends know I'm bi, and it hasn't changed our friendship.
They still give me great hugs and tell me they love me, send me sweet cards, go on vacations with me to cabins or hotel rooms, use a hot tub together with me and often sign e-mails with Love, Love You or even xxoo. It hasn't made any difference whatsoever.
Friendship love is a wonderful thing!

 

I have had totally different outcomes when I cam out to my two sisters and a cousin (at different times, though). My oldest sister first, and she changed and became awkward. As if I will ever be attracted to her. My cousin, like you, who I am so comfortable with that we can share anything and everything. She has been through it all with me, and continues to support me 100%. I am very lucky it turned out the way it did. Now my other sister, she surprised me that one. She is bi as well, oh em gee, and we have more things in common than we realized. We are that much closer and support each other, but we are both comfortable not discussing our sexual orientation. Accepting each other is enough for the both of us.
There will be different reactions with different people. One thing is for sure, you do not need to come out until you are ready to do so. The first couple times I did, I got so exhausted mentally and emotionally. Gets a bit more comfortable with time.