Hello everyone, hope you all are well and have enjoyed the holidays. Here's a silly trivial thing that just happened. Eek! I got a friend request on Facebook, from someone I don't know at all. She's friends with 4 of my friends, one of which I suspect is a lesbian (but I'm not sure), she's very cute, has the pride flag filter thing on her profile picture, and when I look at her page, it says she's soon attending a lesbian event in the city we both live in... Eeooaa! What does this mean? Why does she want to be my friend? What do I do? I'm not very active on Facebook and don't like to add people I've never met. But... um... er... help! What does one do? I've never tried to date or meet women, ever, and I feel very oblivious as to what this means... (My instinct says: Of course she's not interested in me, because I'm kind of ugly and weird - old, old messages from a self-critical mind that needs to change its habits) Any thoughts? Thanks so much
I think you can message people without being their friend, right? You could send her something like: Thanks for the friend request! I see you're a friend of Abc. Did we meet and I've stupidly forgotten? Personally, I don't like the fact that being a Facebook friend is so fraught with meaning. Since you have your own criteria, I would use the messenger to actually communicate rather than wondering what each of you is thinking. What does she want? Why didn't she say yes to my request? Etc. Hopefully, she'll reply and you can perhaps join her at that event. Btw, you're not ugly and weird, you're intriguing and friendable. <- That's a word. Don't argue with me.
For myself, I would friend her. I would be curious and wanting to explore what ever might be coming. If you are uncomfortable with adding people you don´t know, send her a message and ask how she knows you or heard of you :icon_bigg
Er, I'd say you're overthinking this. The majority of interaction most people ever have on there is you maybe exchange a few likes every now and then. I also think the usual thought process when adding someone new on fb is rarely more complex then 'oh, I've seen/heard of that person at least once, I guess I'll press this conveniently placed button under their name since it's there.' Besides, apparently shes cute and gay so really what is there to lose?
As above message her then add her.. You can always defriend her or block her if you change your mind.
Exactly. People on Facebook, here, and other social media put too much stock in what being friends is all about. You may find out that you at least like this person. You may also find out that you are just ho-hum about them and it won't be a big deal. When I used it, I accepted friend requests from people I didn't know, either because of common friends or common interests.
I tend to only be friends with people I've actually met, but I don't think that needs to be the criteria at all. If you end up not liking her, just unfriend her! Maybe you will find out you have a lot in common (like going to that event?!?!).
• cute girl friend request • pride flag • goes to lgbt events • friends with some of your friends ...why isn't this happening to me?? ACCEPT it! And chat away... what's the worst that can happen? She knows people you already know, so she's most likely not a stalking psycho, and you can totally delete or block her if something's weird. Otherwise, potential girlfriend?? Potential friend?? I don't see you losing out here.
Just add her stop overthinking you never know what may come out of this. She may seen you around and figure she would add you.
Aw friendable! Thanks guys! :icon_bigg I did accept the friend request but didn't send a message, 'cause A. I'm a bit shy and B. I'm surely overthinking, since I'm the sensitive type and see a lot of detail in everything. I have a whole brand new relationship with the world and all its people now, it seems. I read people differently, I behave differently and I think differently. It feels like I can truly interact with other people now, but I'm also trying to find my feet in that, re-learning how it all works. Thanks so much for all the replies! Very helpful!
