Fantasies and Self-Acceptance

What do you mean by grotesque?

But usually yeah your fantasies will change as you allow yourself to experiment more with that you might or might not like. Before denial usually keeps certain fantasies and thoughts away.

 

My fantasies changed a lot. They never swayed toward grotesque in the past. I just only ever had one fantasy before, it was extremely simple and no one had a body except me. Now my fantasies are far more full and interesting and varied. And both people have a body. And a personality. It's much better.

 

I guess more related to Yeehaw's experience, although somewhat the opposite, I was never in my own fantasies at all. But as I came out and experienced same sex intimacy...that changed.

But my fantasies certainly do tarry down some alternatively natured avenues. So I wouldn't judge yourself too harshly. I think subject matter varies over time for some also.

 

I noticed my fantasies previously were usually impersonal sex with faceless men. Since coming out, a softer and more personal touch has been added, with kissing becoming more a focal point at times.

 

The progression of my fantasies have been similar to yours Lemongrass. For a long time, it was purely sexual (oral or anal) with faceless men (or maybe someone in gay porn that I watched).

Since becoming more comfortable with who I am, I fantasize about the romantic stuff too - kissing, cuddling, falling asleep while holding each other. I still fantasize about the other stuff but it is much more mixed in with sensual and romantic acts now.

 

Oh yeah! There was never kissing in my fantasies before! Now I very often think about kissing a woman. That's actually pretty much always there now.

 

To be honest...sometimes my fantasies are ONLY making out with another guy (shirtless and on the beach of course).

 

Ah, mine are by a fireplace at a ski lodge or something.

 

OK...I like that too...a lot.

 

Before I knew I was gay, no real fantasies of me towards guys accept: horny towards girls but that appears to be normal for a Kinsey 4-5 type. Fantasies were of guys, not me, involved in intercourse with women. Fantasies of guys masturbating.

During the process of accepting myself as gay, a transition of cuddling with a guy. Falitio with a cute guy.

After accepting myself as gay. Very slowly anal sex, falitio, cuddling, etc.

 

Before realizing I was/might be gay (ages 11-18), just typical horny teenager fantasy about girls in school.

After sudden realization (18-30s), fantasy about girls continued, punctuated by periodic fantasies of anal penetration by a faceless male figure.

Last few years, very little fantasy about anyone specific; however periodic need for anal penetration continues. Frequent longing for intimacy/cuddling with my wife. Occasional romantic fantasies about life with a male partner.

 

This is quite similar to my experience, though for me it started around age 18.

 

Mine have started out little by little and are growing stronger day by day really to be honest as I self explore. Some of it I find a bit confusing and that's why I've joined the site. Now I'm fantasizing and thinking about what a sexual experience might be like and feel like. I already had a sound foundation of what an emotional connection would feel like. Oddly enough, my husband is the one who that introduced me to lesbian/gay porn for my initial exploration, then I wanted to become more involved in the gay community meeting other LGBT people to socialize with and meet. I'm still not ready to actually act on anything but continue to self explore. I'm not ready for anything to really happen yet but continue to become self confident.

 

I used to have pretty rough fantasies about guys now I mostly have really happy soft sensual sorts of fantasies about girls. They involve more of the body and they're just nicer situations.

 

This is exactly what happened to me. I stopped seeing other guys as "pieces of meat" and started seeing them as human beings I want to kiss, cuddle, take care of, etc.

 

I feel like I kinda shut down my fantasies before accepting who I am.

Now I love fantasizing about women. Flirting, dancing, kissing and touching feels like a dream to me.

 

This is spot on. I feel the same way (about men though). Also, my fantasies have become much more detailed on the romantic side. I think about how we flirt meet, how he touches me for the first time, how we kiss first, etc. It is just nice to let myself get lost in those fantasies. The real thing would be better but maybe this is part of the acceptance process.

 

Mine is currently shifting from humiliation fantasies to fantasies about the prospect of romantic intercourse.