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I don't know.....

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by bluebo1234girl, Jan 21, 2016.

  1. bluebo1234girl

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    It is late, my husband of 27 yrs has fallen asleep in my young sons bed along his side while laying him down. I sit here, just having gotten done watching the movie Sisters. Having a last smoke and sip of wine before I go awake my sleepy husband.

    Tonight, although I'd like to, I know he wont want to have sex. It's to late. Hell, its to late for me. This last month and a half since we have been having to lay our little one down personally every single night, has played a huge role in the bedroom life. It's left my mind wondering, thinking, wanting something different.

    I have come to the conclusion that I'd like to be with another woman. I do not know what the hub will think.

    But I d to start somewhere, but I never want to break up my family.
     
  2. ConsciousRose42

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    Hi thank u for sharing ...
    My own experience is that I had a few drunken times in my 20's - 30's was fantasy and on line and the past yr fully came into 'I'm a gay women '
    All through the yrs I had long term male partners ..
    I guess why I want to reply is that in my own experience fantasy and reality can be two different things ( I think ) I hear some women have the fantasy but actually doing it can not live up to the expectation --
    And then there is someone like me who thought it was fantasy but in reality it was and is real --
    Have u had thoughts of women for a long time ? Are u happy being married ?
    Don't mean to pry just to try and help aid where u are actually at before it goes into your marriage
     
  3. WanderingMind

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    Hey bluebo. Welcome to EC.

    There are many of us having similar conversations with our partners...

    How did yours go?
     
    #3 WanderingMind, Jan 22, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2016
  4. bluebo1234girl

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    Well I ended up posting another thread. One that makes more sense. Because I was drinking last night and it doesnt really tell whats going on but a little if that makes sense. I have not said anything to my hub nor do I intend on it. I dont want to introduce anyone else into our bed with him. I want this on my own. I feel it would ruin our relationship due to my insecurities. They're really bad.

    I am happy for the most part with the marriage. We have our ups and downs. All over the map with what they are about. But I love him dearly and I love our family. I never want to leave him. Maybe my other thread will make more sense to you two that commented. Thank you for the questions and for prying...lol Not a prob since Im here to find things out because I have no clue.
     
  5. bi2me

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    I wrote on your other thread, but this one makes sense too.

    I think if you are attracted to your husband, there are techniques that can be taught. Once I realized that I was interested in/missing sex with women, we've altered a bit of our technique to be more queer friendly. Graphic sex details below alert:




    He performs more oral sex on me than previously and for a longer period of time. He also tries to make sure I orgasm before we have PIV intercourse. We've purchased a few toys that help me orgasm when I'm having trouble, either before, during, or after PIV - my favorite right now is a clit vibrator (Dame Products | Home of Eva, the Hands-Free, Non-Intrusive Clitoral Vibrator). He's also fairly graceful about the fact that sometimes I'm less into male body parts than other times, and doesn't force the issue if I'm not in the mood to do a lot to him - I come back around, but it fluctuates. (I happen to like penetration, so I'm pretty much always up for PIV, so it's not like he won't orgasm anyway.)




    OK- that was probably way more details than ANYONE wanted about my sex life :icon_redf :lol:

    You might also start with checking around about altering the bedtime routine for your child. I've got a 3yo and a 7yo, so I know how tough it can be, and I know it might not be realistic right now, but maybe you can move in the right direction. My friends laugh, but we watch almost no tv, because we realized that we were missing out on intimacy. So we usually go to bed right after our kids and have sex before falling asleep.

    ---------- Post added 22nd Jan 2016 at 05:15 PM ----------

    I wrote on your other thread, but this one makes sense too.

    I think if you are attracted to your husband, there are techniques that can be taught. Once I realized that I was interested in/missing sex with women, we've altered a bit of our technique to be more queer friendly. ALERT: Graphic sex details below. Skip to below the following paragraph if you don't want to hear too many details!




    He performs more oral sex on me than previously and for a longer period of time. He also tries to make sure I orgasm before we have PIV intercourse. We've purchased a few toys that help me orgasm when I'm having trouble, either before, during, or after PIV - my favorite right now is a clit vibrator (Dame Products | Home of Eva, the Hands-Free, Non-Intrusive Clitoral Vibrator). He's also fairly graceful about the fact that sometimes I'm less into male body parts than other times, and doesn't force the issue if I'm not in the mood to do a lot to him - I come back around, but it fluctuates. (I happen to like penetration, so I'm pretty much always up for PIV, so it's not like he won't orgasm anyway.) My friends laugh, but we watch almost no tv, because we realized that we were missing out on intimacy. So we usually go to bed right after our kids and have sex before falling asleep.





    OK- that was probably way more details than ANYONE wanted about my sex life :icon_redf :lol:

    You might also start with checking around about altering the bedtime routine for your child. I've got a 3yo and a 7yo, so I know how tough it can be, and I know it might not be realistic right now, but maybe you can move in a less intensive direction.
     
  6. bluebo1234girl

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    Thats a good suggestion. I guess we could try that. He doesnt know though that Im attracted to women. I'd have to I guess approach it another way. There's also the fact that he's so manly in bed. Not romantic really. I'd love to feel what its like to just touch and kiss a woman for a bit. The thought of it gets me going but Id like to see if there's something there when its actually done. The one time that I did kiss another woman, I wasnt really into it. She kissed kinda soft and innocent. I like a good firm kiss, something with passion. So I guess there was no passion there. I felt like absolutely nothing. But Im still very attracted to women. If that makes any sense, I dont know.