1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Therapists who specialize in lgbt stuff

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by yeehaw, Jan 25, 2016.

  1. yeehaw

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2015
    Messages:
    209
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Oregon
    Hey there,

    I've been in therapy for eons. It has been profoundly helpful for me. The therapist I have now I've had for several years. She's great and has helped me through some really rough stuff. I really like her a lot. I know she has at least a little experience with lgbt stuff, but it's certainly not a specialty of hers. I keep having thoughts of trying out a therapist who specializes in lgbt stuff since that's what my world seems to be revolving around lately. Any thoughts in this?

    She mostly seems to do ok enough with gay stuff and I know she has been consulting with a therapist who specializes in figuring out sexual orientation later in life (on my behalf). There have been a couple of times that it just seems to take her a bit to catch my drift related to lgbt stuff but I think she gets there.'i do sometimes feel like the people here get me much faster and can normalize things for me more readily than she can.

    Also, I don't think it would be super easy for me to switch to someine with more lgbt ecperience and still use my insurance, but I might be able to...

    Also, honestly I don't want to hurt my therapist feelings, which I don't think is how therapy is supposed to work but that is part of this for me.
     
  2. SiennaFire

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 23, 2015
    Messages:
    2,161
    Likes Received:
    246
    Location:
    Boston
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Assuming that you can find a great therapist with more LGBT experience or better yet one who is a lesbian, that would probably help you process your feelings about being a lesbian faster. There is no harm in exploring options at this point - trying to find a potential LGBT therapist and exploring insurance implications. Then you can decide what makes sense (switch to the LGBT therapist, supplement your current one, etc.).

    As for hurting the therapist's feelings, she is a professional and should understand there are aspects of therapy where another professional would be a better fit. You may even want to broach the topic with her and ask for suggestions and recommendations, that is, to engage her in joint problem solving.
     
    #2 SiennaFire, Jan 25, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2016
  3. maybgayguy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2015
    Messages:
    218
    Likes Received:
    64
    Location:
    MN
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hi yeehaw,

    I do think it would be good to find an lgbt therapist. I also think it is good to find a therapist who is also a lesbian (if that is how you identify). Be sure to look at the first meeting as a trial. I once met with a woman (she was straight) who touted that she focused on LGBT issues. I had written a letter to my wife and was ready to come out. My therapist then told me my attraction to men was due to stress. That set me back awhile.

    I recently started seeing another therapist and just came out to her. She was incredibly supportive but noted that she had little experience in this area. She referred me to a gay man who has dealt with men in my situation. I will start seeing him in a few days. I was always nervous about having a male therapist as I wouldn't feel comfortable coming out to them if they were straight. I am looking forward to talking to a gay man as he has been through some of these issues.

    SiennaFire is correct that you shouldn't worry too much about your therapists feelings. She should understand.

    One resource is the PFLAG helpline. They have a list of therapists in your area that can help with LGBT issues. You can also find one who identifies as a lesbian.
     
  4. eden

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2016
    Messages:
    135
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I agree with SiennaFire and maybgayguy but I'm new to this therapy thing. I'm afraid of being in therapy "for eons". The two I saw once each were very nice but because I had so much to say (you can imagine) they didn't offer much help. Prior to that, you couldn't pay me to see a therapist. I figured that whatever the problem was, you have to fix it yourself. I still kind of feel that way.

    This is doubly weird because my spouse is in the same professional field.

    I first thought I didn't want to see a therapist because I tend to run into people (like my spouse has run into former clients over the years) plus, I figured if I am paying a therapist, I'm going to tell them about my gender identity issues straight away.

    The silver lining here is that the two therapists each referred me to one who specializes in LGBT issues and even my uni's LGBT center recommended this person so I am going to make an appointment today and hopefully let you all know how it goes.
     
  5. ecallan

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2016
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Winston-Salem
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hey Yeehaw,

    First I want to say you have a really good therapist. Good therapists will refer their clients to specialists when they know it's helpful for their clients to talk about specific issues, like what you're going through right now. You should in no way feel like you're hurting your therapist's feelings because they are doing what's best for you.
     
  6. CameOutSwinging

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2015
    Messages:
    735
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York City
    I found my therapist through an LGBT specific counseling center. To me, it has made all of the difference. Like you said, for awhile, this was all that I could think about and what I specifically wanted to deal with. I'll say, to his credit, my therapist has helped me realize a lot of things about myself that have nothing to do with sexuality at all. We talk about sexuality a lot, but he also has me focus on things I've never spent time thinking about. I'm getting to a point where I'm not sure I want to continue therapy specifically about my sexuality, and my therapist is sadly leaving the center, so perhaps if I don't feel the same connection with the next therapist, I will move on. But seeing a regular therapist for my other issues would still be a good idea.
     
  7. Richie.

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2013
    Messages:
    546
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Birmingham UK
    I tried to reply yesterday but couldn't log on so here it is now.

    I think if you've found a good therapist LGBT or not keep them work on being comfortable with who you are and accept who you are. I've had therapy from both an LGBT and one who doesn't specialise and the end result was the same in both
     
  8. brainwashed

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Messages:
    2,141
    Likes Received:
    494
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    A quick response after skimming your post. I have not read posts from others.
    a) You should not be judging your relationship with your current therapist with emotion although it's understandable you do. You are getting a service not buying a friend.

    b) Yes go with LGBT specific therapist. They will be able to/should be able to connect with you better.

    Good luck
     
  9. ssxElise

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2016
    Messages:
    56
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I agree with the comments above.
    You should think about yourself and not your therapist´s feelings.

    I´m new at talking about my gay feelings to anyone.
    I saw a counselor at the lgbt center and she is a lesbian. Everything I said was so normal to her and she understood how I felt. I thought I would have to explain everything better because things are going in circles in my mind.
    But she just got it.
     
  10. Chrissouth53

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2012
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Boston USA
    If you can't get someone recommended by someone you know, go to the Psychology Today website. Search by therapists in your area and then look at their "specialties". Pick some that are LGBT knowledgeable, check that they take your insurance (these are listed under their name) and talk to a few on the phone and pick one.