Many things going through my head lately.. One that keeps coming up: Few weeks ago my husband told me that if I am lesbian (or bi) he will divorce me. So, if I am, I should let him know asap. This was Not said in the heat of the moment, but in context of him finding my search on lesbian topic and inquiring about it. Makes me feel like if I am bi, (which I really Don't know), then I am like a throwaway toy - not needed anymore.. Regardless of the outcome of my sexuality, I can't picture marriage as such - don't know what he is staying with me for. I really hope he did not mean it after all.. I am a human being, not a label.
If it is really bothering you, I would indeed bring it up to him again, especially if you are questioning yourself. A relationship and especially a marriage is about open communication and trust, not saying hurtful things. Let him know how that made you feel. It is easy to judge...it is harder to understand because understanding takes compassion.
That was an ultimatum of sorts. Don't be or else. That's not a safe place to be. And the utter lack of respect is breath-taking. You are not his property, and you are entitled to be yourself, not who he says you have to be. Look after yourself...and do what you need to do for yourself. It's a hard thing to do, but you already know what he can be like. Keep safe...
My teenage daughter said something similar, which was that if I was a lesbian she would go live with her father and I would never see my grandchildren (as in someday, when she has children). Guess what? She's still here and we're working through it in counseling. Not my idea of fun, but you have to address things. The husband though? He's a grownup and he should know better.
