I'm 26 and I really should be more grown up than this but this basically happened and I've come here for sympathy. I started work at a new job in a tiny office a month ago and there's a straight guy there who I have had a crush on since day 1. I knew from the start it was stupid but I couldn't control it. Either he has a secret bi-curious side or its all in my head, I really can't decide. It felt like we had a bit of a flirty vibe in the first couple of weeks but I think my constant shyness has started to get on his nerves a bit and now I don't know. I don't think I even like his personality that much, there's just something about him. Now he's started hooking up with a girl and he's super happy. I literally feel sick and so lonely. I went on a Grin dr date on Thursday and the guy was nice but not my type at all. Meeting people from the internet doesn't feel the same. Meeting some random person by chance hits you so much harder when you start feeling something for them. The worst thing is that no one knows I'm gay at work, so I'm having to pretend to be an indifferent straight guy and I'm starting to get paranoid that other people can sense something. I'm trying to stay cool but its hard to get over a crush when you work with them every day. I'm friendly with him and his best mate so am considering just telling them that I'm gay. I feel it would just release a bit of tension. Problem is I'm also working with two school friends who I never came out to. Any advice anyone?
Just from my past experience, it's likely just in your head. If I were you, I would trust your instinct about his personality, that "something about him." I've been in that position before, and while I was really attracted to the guy, it just felt like he was using me for some reason. I just couldn't figure out what his game was. I was always adventurous about doing different kinds of things on the weekends, but he had a habit of asking me to go do stuff, going with me places, and then never going back with me again. Not that he didn't go back at all--he just took his "real" friends with him, as if he was the one who had all these fun weekend ideas. Anyway, he ended up just cutting off contact with me. That sucked for a bit, but really, it was all for the best. I don't need people like that in my life anyway.
