ways to deal with depression?

Hmm Depends on how your being depressed,i know many people with it for different reasons.
sometimes it cause people don't have a hobby or something like that

 

I think talking to either therapist 1 or 2 would be a good idea.

I wouldn't get bogged down on trying to maintain the "things are good" with no.1 because you're paying her to help you work through the things which aren't good. Right? You want your money's worth, don't you?

If you think no.2 might be better for this particular issue, you could always call the office without identifying yourself and just inquire if she takes lgbt clients. You should be able to tell pretty easily from the receptionist's answer and demeanor whether you'd have to think twice about going back to her.

Sorry, I don't know any books but if you're looking for some entertaining reading and maybe, sometimes thought-provoking, I like this online magazine. All by women, many of them comics/humourists. (There's a short series by a lesbian comedian about being the other mother and the horoscopes make me laugh so hard I almost can finish reading them because my eyes are watering so much.)
Standard Issue is a smart and witty e-magazine by women.

Good luck. I hope you manage to open up to one of those therapists.

 

Doing regular exercise will definitely help as well - it's good for getting your mind focused on something else and also obviously because of the endorphins it generates. It doesn't have to be hectic either - something like yoga can work wonders.

 

So here a few suggestions, these are things I try to practice.

First of all just relax and breath, try to do this with no negative thoughts.

Second, eat a healthy diet, fruits and vegetables, just simple healthy food.

Third, get outside in the sun and air, go for a 15 minute walk.

Fourth, exercise, whatever type of exercise you want, just do something.

Fifth, do something nice for someone that is less fortunate than you.

Sixth, do a video search online for motivational videos. TED videos are pretty good.

There are books out there and of course talk to your therapist about it. Just remember that there are plenty of people out there that are going through tough times. Be strong and you will get through it. Better days are on the way. Good luck

 

Options 1 and 2 sound good, I think. If nothing else, you can get some of that weight off your chest. Talking usually helps. I can understand your hesitation, and these conversations can be hard, but remember that you're not obligated to be happy for anyone. If you're unhappy, it's okay to say that. It can be really helpful to admit that out loud to someone you trust.

I don't know tons of self-help books, but I have one that I read when I feel down: If You Feel Too Much by Jamie Tworkowski, the founder of To Write Love on Her Arms. It's helpful in reminding you that you're not alone in the struggle and that there's a purpose for it all.

I usually suffer from debilitating depression this time of year, but I've done a few things that have helped immensely:
1. I take Calcium (500 IU), Magnesium (250 IU), Vitamin D-3 (10,000 IU), and Vitamin B-2 (400 IU) daily.
2. I work out five days a week, alternating days when I run and when I do other cardio. A month of this now and I'm running 2.5 miles without issue and have some sexy arms after being entirely sedentary for a solid six months.
3. I do yoga for about 10-20 minutes most evenings right before bed. Helps me sleep like an angel!
4. I have been eating vegetables like crazy! I'm a vegetarian as it is, but I watch my bread consumption and focus on fruits and veggies. My energy levels skyrocketed. (Meal/snack examples: apples with peanut butter, veggies with hummus, power salad with avocado and spinach and a light vinaigrette dressing.)
5. Journal! I write in a journal a few nights a week. I just jot down the things that are stressing me out, and it really helps to compartmentalize. Write when you're happy, too, so you can see your growth.
6. Get enough sleep. Really. Make time for 7-9 hours a night.
7. Don't sleep too much. Get out of bed before 9, even on the weekends.
8. Chant mantras to yourself. Seriously. When you're showering, when you're cooking, when you're driving. My current one is, "I am patient. I am compassionate. I am loving. I am strong." It helps with thoughtfulness throughout the day.

The part of your post that really struck a chord with me is the "I still feel like it is hard to keep pushing myself to stay positive, it has been exhausting lately." It is. It's so exhausting to be happy sometimes, but it's worth it. But I understand where you're coming from. I had to cut back on most of my social time and my job in order to focus on my mental health. Just remember that self-care is worth the energy. You have to live with yourself forever, and you'll always have to be there for you. Might as well build a positive relationship with yourself, right?

Best wishes(*hug*)

 

You're welcome.

I had a thought if you haven't sent the email. What if you googled no.2's name + LGBT? If she has a website, it might mention whether she covers LGBT topics and even if she doesn't have a site or mention it, she may have gone to a symposium or something where LGBT topics were discussed, about which someone may have written.

Also, Bach is the best!

 

Hi,
Depression is caused by different things but I suspect that futility is the cause of yours. I say that because you have been seeing therapists and haven't resolved whatever issues you sincerely want to resolve. If you can make some progress in resolving some issues your mood will lift.

Because you are seeing a therapist and have seen others in the past tells me you have issues that need to be resolved. I saw a therapist for 4 years when I was younger. I was fortunate because he made therapy goal oriented. My goal was to meet a woman, marry and have a family. I made that decision largely because faced with a choice between living a gay lifestyle did not appeal to me and I wanted to have a family. When we started the therapy, the therapist told me that if we hadn't reached our goal in 4 or 5 years I was to look for someone else. It worked out well for me. I mention it because if there are changes you want to make in your life you can set a goal with your therapist to work toward that.

I am sure you are working on the issues outside of your therapy sessions. I have a suggestion. I believe that beliefs are what form our reality. So you should examine your beliefs about the things you want that are giving you a problem. You may find that those beliefs are what is causing you to live the way you are and if you realize they don't make sense you can change them. Examine your thoughts as well. I am talking about thoughts about things that are personally important to you not those that you have to have about business or daily routine. At least you can get an idea of whether your thoughts are mostly positive or negative. Certainly you only want to change the negative thoughts unless you are a masochist lol.

The process works by stepping back and viewing thoughts and beliefs you have as a third party.

Hope this helps.

 

Hi,
Depression is caused by different things but I suspect that futility is the cause of yours. I say that because you have been seeing therapists and haven't resolved whatever issues you sincerely want to resolve. If you can make some progress in resolving some issues your mood will lift.

Because you are seeing a therapist and have seen others in the past tells me you have issues that need to be resolved. I saw a therapist for 4 years when I was younger. I was fortunate because he made therapy goal oriented. My goal was to meet a woman, marry and have a family. I made that decision largely because faced with a choice between living a gay lifestyle, which did not appeal to me and I wanted to have a family. When we started the therapy, the therapist told me that if we hadn't reached our goal in 4 or 5 years I was to look for someone else. It worked out well for me. I mention it because if there are changes you want to make in your life you can set a goal with your therapist to work toward that.

I am sure you are working on the issues outside of your therapy sessions. I have a suggestion. I believe that beliefs are what form our reality. So you should examine your beliefs about the things you want that are giving you a problem. You may find that those beliefs are what is causing you to live the way you are and if you realize they don't make sense you can change them. Examine your thoughts as well. I am talking about thoughts about things that are personally important to you not those that you have to have about business or daily routine. At least you can get an idea of whether your thoughts are mostly positive or negative. Certainly you only want to change the negative thoughts unless you are a masochist lol.

The process works by stepping back and viewing thoughts and beliefs you have as a third party.

Hope this helps.

 

Find good music to listen to, and write about it in a journal. Also, talking to a therapist or a friend helps. If you need to, take a walk, or have a warm bath. Take a nap, or just allow yourself to cry it out also helps. I sometimes burn incense and watch it burn until its gone and think about it like all of my negative thoughts being released.

 

HI freeapril,
Many good suggestions from the other posts. Are you taking antidepressant medications? If not, perhaps asking your therapist to help yuo find a psychiatrist that specializes with gender identity issue. Good luck from someone who struggles with depression.

 

It's going to sound so unbelievably silly, but when I'm depressed I jam music and I clean my house top to bottom with a fine tooth comb. And sometimes I spice it up with an audiobook.

I get periodic bouts of depression that are just awful! They cannot be normal, because when they hit, I literally want to die... I've tried books, and seeing a councilor. I've tried talking to my boyfriend. but nothing helps

Until one day I was mad at myself for being so helpless and I threw a glass (totally not normal behavior for me XD). Afterwards when I realized I was being an idiot I had to scrub the floor and the counter to make sure there wasn't any glass shards left. While doing this it just kinda snowballed. I cleaned the entire kitchen, then moved onto the living room. In the space of a week I cleaned the ENTIRE house completely spotless (also really not like me...)

And now whenever I'm stressed I look for something to clean. It's like having that little bit of success in my life is able to make me feel a little better about myself. And with every dish, and every spot, I find a little more courage, a little more happiness, and a little more love for myself.

So go out, throw a glass, clean it up, and laugh at yourself for being so silly

 

Hi Freeapril,

As someone who has also been through cycles of depression and anxiety in life, what has helped for me are three things:

1. Mindfulness and insight meditation through the Mindfulnessness Based Stress Reduction MBSR course devised by Jon Kabat Zinn. The philosophies and life teachings offered by secular Buddhism has been life changing for me, allowing me to change my mindset about a number of aspects of my life and the world around me.

2. The book "Change Your Thinking" by Sarah Edleman. It was recommended to me by my GP.

3. Keeping physically active - every time I make an effort to do some physical exercise, I feel so much better afterwards.

All of this has helped me to develop my sense of self compassion and confront my own personal issues and inner conflicts, including self acceptance of my sexuality and my recent move to start coming out to the world. It has taken me many years to get to where I am now but with the help of mindfulness and supportive people around me to assist me with my journey I am now in a much better place.

I wish you all the very best and will be very happy to share with you more insights into Mindfulness and MBSR.

All the best,

Sam

 

Hi. Try reading this book The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin Sharma. Billy the kid is right, do something nice for someone that is less fortunate than you. You will realize that you are still blessed compared to them. always reach out to your friends if you feel down or seek out some support groups in your community.. when times u feel that no one would listen to u,just write to us here never walk alone in life and always walk with courage because courage gives u joy,and joy gives you hope.

I wish you happiness and peace in life. (*hug*)

 

You are very welcome, Freeapril. It would be great to connect with other secular Buddihists and followers and practitioners of mindful mediation across the EC community.

 

for me the best way of mending your depression is finding things you really love to do, in that way you can focus and invest your time on the things that can help you to divert your attention in producing something beautiful than locking yourself inside you room and burying your time in non-sense things.

 

Good luck! And well done on the extra coming out.