Of my journey, I'm out of a long marriage,divorce almost through. I had a affair with a friend but I ended it a long while ago. I grew up knowing I wouldn't be "allowed" to be a lesbian (or bi). My parents are old and we're very strict as I grew up. Now I am free, have a place of my own and space to be honest with myself I know I find women attractive, it's women I'm paying attention too when I'm people watching, not men. I tried joining a couple of dating sites but the photos coming through were too much, I think I must be a old fashioned gal at heart, I have never done casual before. I feel old to have suddenly reached such a huge light bulb moment. I know my parents won't react well - understatement! But, I feel I've wasted enough time being dishonest with myself. I'd like to meet someone but go slowly. I know there's a meet up group not too far away from me but feel nervous about going. I'm in my 40's and dread the thought I could be the oldest in a group of young people. Things are so much more open now than they were in my teens.
I don't think we're allowed to mention specific dating sites but there is an Aussie lesbian site that would probably suit you. There are a lot of UK members and photos need to be approved. I like sitting back on the sofa and reading the chit chat on there.
Hi thanks, shame you can't post the site! I rang a helpline, at their suggestion I made contact with a local support group, met with a friendly response so that helped.
I think the problem with dating sites/ apps is that makes partner search like browsing for shoes on the one hand, where people can be discarded for the smallest reason since there is an overwheaming supply of potential partners, on the other hand it tends to attract people with the wrong mindset about finding a 'relationship'. I mean, what is more important? To develop a bond with someone you really like and have a true affinity with or start a relationship? In my opinion the best relationships follow spontaneously without you realizing that you are developing a relationship, like a friedship, it follows naturally. Thats why I think that the best way is to actually go out there and do stuff you like, be it a trip, hiking, a course, volunteering, whatever interests you. There you will find the people with whom you have an affinity and things will develop naturally. There is a site about meet up interest groups, just google meet up and you will find it. It might help.
Thanks Mr B. I rang a helpline, they suggested I contact a local meet up group, tell them I was a bit nervous, got a friendly response back. The person offered to meet up a bit early. It's taken me months to build up to even this point. I think I duck in and out of the closet. Lol. I tried a couple of dating web sites but didn't feel that was the way to go for me at the moment. For me I want to take it slowly, get to know the person first. I know my family won't react well, particularly my Dad. They know a lesbian couple Dad says such awful things. But I suddenly realised life is passing me by, my feelings are not going away. Thanks for your reply.
