Due to issues with my daughter inadvertently discovering my relationship with another woman, we are now in counseling together. It is a family advocacy program, and the focus is her anger and our relationship, not my relationship with my girlfriend. I have to admit it, but the relationship is the straw that broke the camel's proverbial back. However, one of the Psychologists at work seemed to think I should seek out an LGBT Counselor to address the issue. If anybody has any thought on this, I would appreciate hearing it.
Are you a single parent? It not, this adds an extra dimension of complexity. In general I think it would be better to have an LGBT counselor, although not imperative if your daughter had anger issues that surfaced before she discovered that you had a GF.
I started to say that any well-trained therapist should be able to address your LGBT issues... but then saw that you are in Mississippi. Ordinarily, I'd say that the training any therapist gets includes diversity, and background in working with LGBT populations. However... in Mississippi, since it's generally not the most open place on the planet, you probably would be better seeing a therapist with specialty in LGBT issues. It may not be the easiest to find... where I might start is with local PFLAG groups and see if you can get some referrals from there. If there's an LGBT center in your area, that's another place to look. The real key here is someone who is good with body family dynamics and child/adolescent issues as well as LGBT issues. I wish I had suggestions for you but I don't have any resources for people in MS in the networks I have access to. Let me know if you strike out and I can check into some other resources.
I am a teen and I have a difficult relation with my mother, and standing in your situation I think you should first try to solve the issues you have with your daughter before getting closer with your gf...this may seem obvious but we need lots of love and support, to have casual conversations and feel the support, not just to know is there...also dont ever force your daughter to accept her or feel she is forced to because she will feel bad...that is just what I think, I wish you lots of luck!
I think both types can be good. If there is a problem that needs to be worked on with your daughter - even before she found out about your relationship, then I don't think that it would necessarily need to be an LGBT counsellor. If it is that the problems have arisen afterwards, then perhaps. I have found that I feel better talking to an LGBT counsellor because i don't feel judged. But that is for personal one to one sessions.
I get a lot of comfort out of going to an LGBT counsellor, but that may just be a personal preference. It makes me feel like they are more knowledgeable, have better perspective to deal with LGBT issues and just generally accept me more. Perhaps it would give you the same comfort.
Thanks for all the input and since posting I have looked to see if there are LGBT counselors available in this area and based on my initial research, it look like the closest ones are in excess of two hours away. Yes, I live in the south and this is an issue....I moved here about eight years ago and I sometimes feel like I've stpped back in time about 20 years. Yes, we had issues before the relationship started, and right now I really try to keep everything separate. I actually feel as though I'm having an affair in some senses, just trying to keep everything separate. My daughter insisted that I end my relationship, but I have told her that's not going to happen. For several weeks she acted out, calling me and gf dykes and just being awful and mean about everything. What prompted to step in and seek counseling was that she physically attacked me at home one evening. I reached out to local juvenile officers who gave me some guidance on how to handle it. The initial counseling does seem to help, but it may well be that things have naturally settled down with time. I just don't know. She refused all counseling at first, but my justification was that she had committed a crime in attacking me and could very well go to jail. That seemed to work, and the juvenile officer had said that if I had trouble, he would be willing to talk to her and exlain what happens when you go to jail as a minor, the intake process, the repercussions, etc. I am not trying to push anything on her, and my gf is wonderful, and she supports me in all this. I can only hope that we will get some resolution and things will be "normal" at some point, you know, whatever "normal" is. My philosophy on all this is that we had lots of issues before. Yes, I am a single parent and have raised her on my own for her entire life. Her father is not involved at all. In the simplest of terms, this is the straw that broke the camel's back.
