Suppressed what husband said till now..

Leave. Seriously. Leave.

 

Yeah, have to agree with inamirrordarkly. That is seriously manipulative. Coupled with the anger and violence you described earlier, this relationship sounds very unhealthy.

 

Well the thing is did she try to find out what happen? Or just believed him?
He's sounds like a terrible possessive person, he felt threatened and the only way he knew how deal with was being d#%k
Sorry hun, hug

 

Forget him. He's a wuss.

 

Leave the bastard OP, fast !!!

 

I would not worry about what she believed. If she knows you, then hopefully she knows your character and wouldn't believe it anyway. As for him, well emotional abuse is abuse.

 

Honestly my reaction to that is that I will be as respectful as he was to you. Going out of his way to paint you as an abuser, to wreck any chance you might have had with this woman. For what he has put you through in your other posts. What he did was abusive. Emotional abuse. And he's gotten away with it. And he will do it again.
I've been the victim of emotional abuse. I've been the victim of physical abuse. Emotional abuse is where it starts. I will give him no respect at all.

 

But you know it's not just that. What happens the next time you do something he doesn't like?

And kids are strong and will be happy where ever you are.

My ex finally moved out a week ago, the kids haven't missed him at all.

 

Hmm, I guess I would like to challenge the "decent and easy to be with" part.

What you described here, and have described in the past really cannot be described as decent. And also really cannot be described as easy. He frightens you, is *incredibly* disrespectful, manipulative, and sometimes cruel.

And the part about this being your children's happy childhood home, honestly it's kind of hard for me to imagine that your kids haven't seen and felt, at least on some level, a lot of the bad things that happen in your home. But even if it was true that they have no idea how awful he is you, and that he hasn't been awful in his own way to the kids, that's still no reason for you to live with someone who is willing to do terrible things to you.

Also, I really don't think you are safe. Certainly you are not safe emotionally, but inamirrordarkly is right about where this could go.

 

RUN LIKE FRIGGING HELL!!!!! Seriously, that's blatant abuse and you need to get safe. your "getting along" because he knows he has the power over you, and he will do something else if he feels that slipping, so run my sister, run and get safe. there must be a women's shelter in or near your city, contact them and ask for help.

 

Sorry OP but the behaviour you've described is FAR from being decent and ''easy to live with'' he is extremely manipulative and has gone to great extent to prove you that.
The fact that you've suppressed that event probably means that you've had to deal with similar situations before (maybe on a smaller scale) and that it didn't shock you the way it should have.


For your sake and the sake of your children you must leave that man, I am sorry. Your children looks up to you and your husband and you are teaching them that the way your husband behave is okay and that the way you are being treated is fine. It's not fine and it's not okay for your kids to grow up in an environment where this kind of behaviour is portrayed as normal and healthy. It's not healthy and it's not the kind of behaviour your kids should consider normal.

What would you advice any of your children if they were in that kind of situation ? I am sure you would tell them that it's not an healthy behaviour and that they should leave ASAP.

Have you not thought that the fact that he goes around telling people lies and that you are violent could cause you great trouble in the future ?

Seriously, get away from that man. It may sounds like a failure to you to put an end to that marriage but in the long-term the failure would be not to protect your children from such unhealthy behaviour.


Good luck OP, I understand you are in a difficult situation and that this kind of decision is hard to make but it really is a non-brainer. Hugs to you x (*hug*)

 

You seem to clearly be unhappy with him. You're wishing that you guys didn't get along well so it would end. I'd say that's not a normal thought in a relationship, to be looking for an excuse to end things, but staying for comfort instead because things are "not that bad." You should consider your happiness, your wants/needs, and base things off of that.


You could also hit him now and make it true. I would.

 

Respect is given until it is no longer deserved.
It sounds like he no longer deserves it.

Lex

 

I agree with Alice :icon_wink and she said it much better than I could think it through. "not that bad" is not good. A book that is often suggested (I can't personally recommend it as I haven't read it) is Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay. Just the title to me indicates sometimes "not that bad" isn't good enough. We all deserve happiness and not that bad isn't happy.