First off, i am not suicidal although in the past I have had thoughts. I would never do it. I am just trying to figure out what the purpose to living is. I work around 60 hours a week, so that pretty much wipes out 5 1/2 days. So that leaves 1 1/2 days a week to do chores and errands. Not much fun to be had except for the occasional tv show or movie if I don't fall asleep. What is the point of working so much that you are too tired to actually do fun things? Life is basically just work and sleep until it's time to do errands. I guess I need to find some fun things to do but again there is very little time. Sorry for the venting
60 hours a week would burn me out pretty fast. I've done that in the past for short stretches and really disliked it. So I can understand the feeling. Do you have any flexibility in the work hours? I currently work 40 hours a week in my regular career and also have what I guess you could call a side business as a musician (it only pays a little, but it's something). The side business is fun and I do it for the love of the music, so it doesn't really add to my perceived weekly work hours, if anything, it's a release. If you don't have flexibility in the work hours, is there a vacation, major trip, etc., you can use as motivation? Hang in there, I understand your frustration.
You are asking yourself some very powerful questions. I asked myself similar questions before coming out. I found myself in a situation very similar to yours. I worked long hours to support a lifestyle that I felt detached from and did not fully enjoy. I felt like an ATM. Despite my success, I was personally so unhappy, knowing deep down that I longed for more from life than being on a financial treadmill - that I longed for a boyfriend and not a wife.
Hey Pete I have been a workaholic too...still do when the situation arises. I also am around a profession of workaholics. One thing that seems to work well is to take time every single day to get some exercise first thing. That means going to bed earlier...let's face it...the flat screen late in the evening is probably not restful. If getting that exercise is not a priority, it just won't happen. When I was in grad school and later a corporate flunky, I commuted by bike at least 3 days a week. Some government agencies actually pay their employees to ride to work. When I had employees, we took a 2 hour lunch. I found that the middle of the day rest, or exercise, increased productivity. So, it might be worth a talk with the boss to see if that can happen. Errands that eat away time are hard to control. I try and take advantage of the late hours that businesses are open to get some of those done then. It is hard to summon the energy sometimes...but well worth it and it frees up the weekend. Good luck
Health warning: Work can expand to fill the voids. Its a masking device. Then it occupies the space to the exclusion of everything else. If you can introduce other new fulfilling activities back in to your life, then work should contract automatically. Paradoxically, I believe you can actually be more efficient/ productive in your job if you scale back your working hours. Speaking as a recovering workaholic.
