Changing your physical appearance when you come out

I cut my hair short after coming out to myself. I don´t know if it was because I was more comfortable with who I am or just that I was tired of the ponytail.

I did, however, fix my tattoos. I got two small tattoos when I was 16. After accepting I was gay I changed them and made them bigger. I love my tattoos now and I´m going for a new one in April.

 

I lost about 20lbs(still going) and I started taking better care of myself in general, started making myself look decent instead of just not caring.

 

Sounds like me after I accepted being gay

 

Yes, I've become a 100% more stylish. I try to coordinate everything haha. I've re-embraced my tomboyish self which I was afraid of being criticised before and I really want to cut my hair short haha. I've started wearing shirts casually and ties when I'm expected to be formal. I think my fashion obsession is definitely linked with the fact that I don't feel scared about being tomboyish now, because I LOVE menswear, always have. I really want to go and haul loads of mens clothes. But I have no money so for now... I'm wearing an old bright green long baggy denim jacket I wore as a child as a short sleeved shirt today (it actually works trust me - people have complimented it)Oh and I've started become really interested in how I smell. Like the smell of all my shower gel and body creme and, if I'm wearing it, perfume. I think this is because I've realised how obsessed I get with girls' smells.

 

I've thought about it but I already wear combat boots, jeans and guys shirts unless I'm wearing a dress so... I'll have to think on that one. I did buy a T Shirt I'm going to wear once I'm out all of the way... "Let's get one thing straight... I'm NOT!"

Congratulations for that big step!!!!

 

Lol. Got my hair cut really short. I used to have it up in a pony tail. Now it's very short (as in men's haircut short). And its staying that way. Also dyed red...
My clothes have been changing drastically over the last couple of years, I think I was getting ready to come out without realizing it. Lots of jeans and singlets and unbuttoned shirts and jackets. Discovering I like denim skirts and shorts too lmao.
And black zip up boots.....

I've had a lot of comments on how much I've changed in the last couple of years...

I'm not hiding anymore

 

I can't say I've changed much if it at all. Hair style: still the same practical let it grow 'til unmanageable, then go to a barber who has a weed-whacker to get it hacked back. Wardrobe: still the same basic style of cheap thrift store buys, with only an upgrade to 100% cotton when/where possible. Skin care: I try to remember to wash my face, and shave regularly.

At this time, I have zero interest in fashion. I am a bad gay guy, I guess, and they'll be coming for my membership card any minute...

 

Hey BMC77

Most of my clothes comes from what we call Opshops - mostly secondhand. I go to a men's hairdresser who does women's cuts on Wednesdays. I dye my own hair. I've just learned how to have a bit of fun with what I buy and how I dress.

 

I dye my own hair to get rid of the grey and wear much smarter clothes now that I'm out and a regular visitor to the Manchester gay village. I follow men's style guides on the Pinterest App on my phone and generally take more interest in my appearance.

My efforts have been rewarded in that some guys have thought that I was 10 or even 20 years younger than I am ... or perhaps they were just trying to get into my pants.

Dressing smartly does give a boost to your self confidence, and self confidence makes you look more sexy.

Sale Gay Guy

 

That is the truest thing. Since I've been becoming comfortable with myself and getting all into this fashion stuff, it has really boosted my self confidence. I actually look in the mirror now, and I actually think I look good when I do. And then I walk outside I walk with confidence rather than shuffling around and I actually look up from the ground. I look at people and they look back and are all strangely twice as charmed by me... People I don't know compliment me as soon as greet me and people I knew a long time ago are talking amongst themselves about how I look so good now (my bestie showed me their texts). Makes me happy:icon_bigg More comically, I seriously gave a guy a smile at a train station around xmas time and he dropped his stuff and fumbled to catch it without looking while smiling back timidly, it was pretty hilarious. This is ridiculous, I used to be the scum of the earth to all people not long ago...

 

Creativity, care, and thought count for a lot. Any idiot can grab the current fashion off a mall rack in a minute. It takes more to go to a thrift shop, and pull off a stunning effect.

Although, for me, as stated before, I have zero real interest in clothes. I tend to be very practically minded. Does the item fit? Is it warm and dry (for winter) or cool (summer heat)? Etc.

---------- Post added 4th Mar 2016 at 02:24 PM ----------

Now these comments have had me wondering...

First thought: is part of my lack of interest in fashion and clothes and looking as good as possible related to my admitted self esteem issues? Or is it just a lack of interest. (I recall hearing other gay guys who had zero interest. One reported in an article who got married wearing jeans. Then, I saw one line someplace that said basically: some friends of Dorothy look like they are still living in Kansas.

Maybe I should get a nice looking outfit just as an experiment...except my clothes budget right now is about $0.

 

I'm not out yet but when i do i want to dye my hair and pierce my ears.

 

BMC77 yes, I think you should. For me, the first thing was buying a pair of jeans. End of season, cost me $3 new (I know, ridiculous) and I felt so good in them. Then I looked through my tops and found one I hadn't worn for ages and the combination just felt amazing. So I went Looking for more jeans.
Prior to that, I had worn trackies for years. I didn't give a shit. They were cheap and it didn't matter how I looked.

That one pair of jeans turned everything around.

 

I lost 100 pounds a half dozen years before I began having sex with men; it would be four more years before I actually came out. I lost it partly because I was concerned about my health as I grew older, but at the back of my mind was always the thought that I would probably look better. A little later, but still before I came out, I lost the comb-over; since then I've always buzzed myself. Now I also buzz my beard about once a week, so I have a fairly even 1/8 inch stubble all over my head. Guys generally think I'm as much as 10 years younger than my chronological age, and I certainly feel that way, especially when I look at guys my age who are out of shape. I think staying busy and getting lots of exercise, plus a good diet, do more to enhance appearance than anything else.

As far as clothes go, I lost the dad jeans and took up 501s; bought about 100 t-shirts and generally try to buy things that are more form-fitting than before (and I find I can wear them confidently!) With the exception of underwear and socks, I buy almost all my clothes at Goodwill. There's a particularly good one in the Gayborhood where I can buy new and near-new "designer" clothes at pennies on the dollar (it seems gay men don't keep their clothes long, but recycle them after a month or two of wear). I no longer think about how much I weigh; instead I think about how my clothes feel on me. Feeling good in one's clothes is confidence-building, and feeling confident is (apparently) a very attractive quality.

 

I cut my hair pretty short after coming out to myself. I quickly realised that it didn't suit my face shape at all, but hey, the thought was there. :lol:

My wardrobe changed a bit too - I became a bit more androgynous after trying to be girly for years. That felt really good.

 

I cut my hair before coming out to myself, but when I started questioning. I wonder if the two events are linked...

As far as clothes... I love fashion! And I have for a while. I've played around with different things enough I know the style I like. I love shoes and sparkly things. Society placed no limits on my exploration. Give me a little peacock blue dress, 3" heels, 1920's rhinestones and a place to go and I'm in a state of bliss.

 

Absolutely you should do it. Just having the idea in your head that you look good and knowing that you just put in that extra bit of effort and realising that people really appreciate it - how could it not boost your self-esteem? And getting compliments geez, I am used to insults haha, this er, is a great improvement in life quality. I feel like I'm seeming arrogant and narcissistic on this thread cos I'm so pumped about this topic but I'm not btw... I'm just a bit happier.

 

I kind of deliberately made some fashion choices that could signify my being gay, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I got my ear pierced, which my former self would have never, ever done.

Now on to a buzzcut!