How to be more open about being bisexual whist in a hetero relationship?

I am in almost the same situation as you. I am bisexual and married. My wife has known that I'm bisexual for as long as she's known me. Like you, I would like to be more "out" about my orientation, and I'd like to feel part of the LGBT community more. For me, the biggest struggle is how to come out to various friends, family, coworkers, etc. It's never easy for anyone in the LGBT community. And there is an added complication when you are bi and married. I wonder how to answer questions such as "well if you are happily married, why even talk about it?" and such. There are a lot of reasons - to be true to who I really am, to be honest to those I care about, etc. But it's not an easy thing.

The one piece of advice that has worked well for me is to embrace your bisexuality internally and be happy with it yourself, first. If that is who you are (like me), embrace it and allow yourself to be happy with it. It is a valid orientation, and despite the myths, misunderstandings, and biases in our culture, it is real and it's great.

I'm not as sure how to proceed on being more open and more out. I'm wondering about that, too. I've been thinking about maybe wearing a bi pride item, like a wristband in the blue/purple/pink colors, or maybe a little bi pride flag pin. I've seen gay friends wear rainbow items like that, so that's where I got the idea.

For what it's worth, you're not the only one in this situation. (*hug*) Good luck, and please share any successes or other experiences you might have, I could really benefit from any help, too. Thanks!

 

Funny t-shirts? I kinda want that one that has the periodic table Bismuth on it. A boy boy couple came in to our shop to get their wedding invitations done. And one was wearing a t-shirt that said Pride is Bigger in Texas. It had the outline of the state and our colors, it was nice.

 

Bisexuality needs a name that does not have "sex" in it. When I decided I was bi (I thought I was gay) it was 1982. "Bisexual" was a dirty word and I felt like a pervert. Like I was making a choice to be deviant. (not how I feel now). When I met my wife I told her I was not a 0 on the Kinsey scale...cop out...I have never corrected in 30 + years of marriage.

I constantly tell people I am bi. But, in a joking environment. So, no one really believes it. Even after I told my wife that a guy tried to seduce me and how much I liked it (in a very serious tone) she didn't ask.

I think that I can live my life without my sexuality "out" and be happy. So, it seems easier just to let it go and not bring it up. Sometimes I would really like to sit down with another bisexual my age and talk about how it feels. But, there is no real way to find out who is bi without outing myself.

How about a secret wrist band that says "not a zero" lol

 

I understand, somewhat, about how great it would be to be able to openly talk about a past relationship. I ran into my childhood love after 20 some years. Because I am such a joker, he and I were able to talk openly in a group of friends about the old days. I think only the two of us understood it was a real conversation.

It felt really good.