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On coming out to a spouse

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by driedroses, Mar 8, 2016.

  1. driedroses

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Louisville
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    This article was written by a friend of my ex and the narrative is based on my life. The names and some details have been changed, but the crux of the issue is the same. For those who may be struggling with coming out to a spouse, I hope this offers some comfort. And just for the record, I hate the article title, because I am no one's victim.

    Based on a true story

    (*hug*)
     
  2. Adray

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Illinois, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thanks for sharing the article, I read it with interest. It helped me understand what so many others are going through.

    I think you are helping others, and I wish you happiness in your path, too. (*hug*)
     
  3. I'mStillStanding

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    This article, is both inspiring and never wrecking. Thanks for sharing this, it really but into words my fear of what's to come for my wife. Now I can try and prepare to make sure she is not left behind.
     
  4. Orchidea123

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I recently came out to husband about my attraction for another woman.
    Since have not figured out who I am yet (feelings only for her? maybe for others? maybe males still ok?), don't know where will fall into any of these thirds.
    No matter how terrible of a time this was, I dodged the initial third ( see quote below).

    He said if I am a lesbian he is out of marriage ( but he uses lesbian for bisexual as well in conversation with me).
    So for him it is either I am straight or a lesbian.
    For me to stay in marriage I have to be straight and 100% convincing. I can not have any feelings or attraction for her.
    Sounds bad, but if I ever conclude that I can not be straight, at least I may be able to control when I decide to be honest about this, knowing the outcome.

    Quote from this article, thank you for posting..

    "Of those who do find themselves married to a gay man or lesbian, a third break up shortly after the revelation, while another third last about a year before the dissolution of the romantic relationship. Buxton notes that often the couple remains friends for life, as she and husband did and Cate and Rob have done, so the relationship continues, only in a different form. The final third of the couples try to stick it out; half of those marriages end by the third year"
     
  5. Forhim

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    Warrner you are so right about inspiring and nerve wrecking. That's what I'm trying to do as well so she is not left behind when I come out to her.