So as some of u may know, I am attracted to this girl, she's a bit complicated ... She's btw lesbian and I have no idea what I am, I told her about a month ago how I feel about her, and since then pretty much she's been letting me to take the lead and make the first steps, she's not stoping me and yet she's not provoking or initiating anything So last night I went to her place to drop some food for her, later on in the night we sat on the couch and I offered her to play with her hair and massage her head (yeah it's one of those things we do...) So she's was laying on my lap and I massage her head, and after a bit I kinda got tired and laid beside her, well I ended up touching other places but avoiding the... Private parts... She never touches me much mostly it's me touching her, she might hold my hand on occasion .. Well we kinda passed out like that, a bit later she got called out to work.. And as I leave and she's getting ready to go too, she gives me a hug and tells me thanks for the head rub... Very casual very insignificant way... Kinda brushed it off or something .. And I am am totally not sure how to take it all ( and yeah she is my first girl I ever gone this far, and omg as confusing and weird it is for me right now I totally liked it)
Maybe she is not wanting to rush you, especially if she knows you are coming to terms with your sexuality. I'm no expert that's just my first thought. I over talk everything, so I would be the person declaring my feelings again. Do you think she's interested? If you're not sure maybe ask her out like on an official date? Again just a thought lol
Well we can't really go on a date in our town... More to hang out which we fairly do often, I am usually over talker too... And if it was a guy by now I probably would have done that long time ago, but it seems like I just can't talk to her about this, and I know if I did she would be very ok talking, and she asking me yesterday when we were having tea before all of this what is on my mind, and I told her I have so much but I don't know we're to start and how to talk about it, she respected that and didn't try to ask me any more questions but I think if she did I would have told her...I have this mental block, Unjustified fear of talking to her about this
Not sure where you are, I'm in small town South ga, with Trump signs and rebel flags so I get the hold up on going out. But girls nights are always acceptable lol. Maybe just tell her, that your struggling the issue of sexuality. And in that you are realizing you are developing feeling for her. See where she goes with that?
Warner, we already had that talk about a month ago, she was very supportive about it, that's why it is so pissing me off that I suddenly can't talk to her anymore I live in a remote northern community
Yea I saw y'all talked before... Sorry I can't be of more help, all I got is try to talk again. It sounds like you are putting yourself out there, and not getting a clear response. I just would be afraid of that hurting you in this process... Sorry I can't be of more help, I'll send you a hug(*hug*)
Maybe asking what's on her mind would help? Since you seem to be uncomfortable with the fact that you can't open up to her fully, ask yourself if she is open with you and what is keeping you from doing so? Is she on receiving end? What does she want from you and what does she want to give you? You deserve an nice head massage for being so caring to drop off food for her..:icon_wink
Sounds like you need a talk about taking the relationship a step forwards in the bedroom department, tell her that you're worried and confused as to where you're going on that side. As you said she's your first girlfriend but is she yours is that why she didn't touch you back? Maybe you need to ask her to maybe take the lead and show you what to do
Well I guess it's good timing, since we r working together and having like 40 mins drive together Thanks girls
Well that's answers that, as she said since I haven't figured out my sexuality she doesn't want to be the "experiment"
Well, at least you have an answer. Not that it's what you wanted to hear, but I can tell the not knowing was driving you crazy.
Yes afgirl, it was, but beside feeling like my heart been stumped on, I guess it's better to know, I know I should listen to my guts, I knew deep inside that I will get rejected, that's why I try so few times
I'm sorry if I'm over stepping (and I know we didn't hear the whole convo) but if she said she does not want to be an experiment does that mean no I'm completely not interested? Or I don't want to get hurt and feel like I was just a phase for you? If it means the later 2 then maybe once you know for sure then she would be open to the idea.
Ok, you got an answer. Probably not what you wanted to hear but it is really good to have information and decide what you want to do next. You are going to do what you think is best for you but I'll put my 2 cents in. It sounds like both of you are good friends so stay friends, do only what friends would do or say. Refocus on yourself, your journey and take time to see what would you like to ultimately have. Try to meet another person, go to meet ups, you are new to this so use your freedom wisely, don't fixate on necessarily dating her. Do all this for yourself and not to prove who you are to anyone else. Speaking from no experience in this department by the way but I can see for sire that keeping friendship in this case is beneficial. Date someone else girl!
Frankly I think I reached my quota of rejections I've been rejected soooo many times by men, don't think I can handle women as well ---------- Post added 9th Mar 2016 at 08:46 PM ---------- And yes i feel like we r good friends and I will have to settle for that, she's a reall sweetie, and I do enjoy our friendship, tho it's going to be very hard to bottle up the feelings and desires I have for her. I just made us supper and took it to her place, it was sooo hard not to hug no to touch jut being friends... And I totally "love" that sentence everybody use: u r a good person but... I think I never ever want to hear that again EVER
Well, you know, I hate to say this, but with the right person it will just click. I had seriously forgotten that because it had been so long.
Hey Koza As someone who has experience of being in a situation like this, I'm gonna be upfront with you and tell you to take what she said at partial face value. She's most likely not interested. Even if someone was just making their way to Lady Land, if someone wants to be with you in anyway, they'll usually find it. With that said, that doesn't mean you don't keep trying! A YouTuber that I follow once said something along the lines of: the first crush or relationship usually doesn't work out because there's too much confusion and emotional pressure on it - especially if your crush is an out lesbian already. For those of us who come to a realization, we think that's the only person, and that's who we're supposed to be with because we're in love and it's new and never happened before, so it must be THEM. It's usually not. We're usually just discovering this new part of ourselves and it happens to be that person that nudged us into discovering. If you can stay friends, do! But don't feel bad if you need to give yourself some space. I understand what it's like to come down from these feelings. It can take awhile. Feel better. And stop thinking there are things wrong with you! I keep noticing you talking about how unattractive you are and how men reject you so you can't take women rejecting you. CHANGE THAT ATTITUDE, MISSY. Whatever that is that you're doing to yourself, it's going to come out in your interactions. STOP. There's nothing wrong with you. And if you think you need to improve on anything, do it so YOU can feel better about YOU! No more putting yourself down.
Actually I appear as very confident person, and in my job I kinda have to... I don't talk about it and don't act like it, it's just what I feel, nobody really knows or can tell really... yeah we r going to stay friends, it's just took away from me so much to actually even tell her everything I did, that just thinking do it again... :dry: I kinda kept away from men for awhile now, just got tired of the bs, and I guess humans r humans... But I can't even say that I am resenting her or anything, I realize she was hurt more than enough and just doesn't need to be hurt again and I totally can see it and understand it... And yet not making things easier
