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At a weird transition point

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by baristajedi, Mar 10, 2016.

  1. baristajedi

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    I'm starting to finally feel brave enough to go out and meet women, to put myself in a vulnerable place and to try out being gay in the real world. I don't know if that's the right way to describe it... I am not looking to date, because, first, I'm married, and second, even if I wasn't married, I think I'm still not quite there emotionally. I'm ready for really basic things. Looking a woman in the eye. Showing through body language, flirting, etc that I find another woman attractive. Letting a woman who seems interested in me touch my hand. Really really basic stuff.

    This is my first attempt at being me in the real world and expressing my real feelings outside of my head.

    I'm ready to make friendships with bi women and lesbians. To build that basic feeling of community for myself.

    And now that I'm finally ready to do this.... time is just moving too slowly. I have a meetup tomorrow and one next week. But from the couple of meetups I've gone to in the past, I know that these things are hit or miss, sometimes not that many people show up, sometimes you don't make a real connection. And then there's the element of time. It takes time to build these things.

    Does anyone have any thoughts on how to deal with this phase? I feel like I'm bursting with this urge to be queer out in the world and I don't know how to do it. I don't want to wait any longer. I know I need to be more patient, but I'm not having an easy time with it....

    I sound like a toddler demanding candy, I don't know how to put this in words without sounding that way.

    I guess part of this is tied to my feelings of regret at lost time....
     
    #1 baristajedi, Mar 10, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2016
  2. Justasking100

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    Is it a one on one meet up or in a group?
     
  3. baristajedi

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    A group with the local lgbt centre. I'm trying to meet new people, make friends etc.

    I just feel like I can't sit still anymore. I'm so tired of the closet.
     
  4. I'mStillStanding

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    Oh I understand the feeling. Finally in OK admitting I'm gay but I have to keep silent. It sucks, it's the v right choice till I handle coming out to my wife :wink: but gosh that will be great day.
     
  5. baristajedi

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    Do you think you will try to open up your marriage, if your wife is willing to do it?