What is attraction

When I am physically attracted to someone, I think all the time about kissing them, holding their hand, hugging them, generally making out with them. When I am romantically attracted to someone I think about having a conversation with them, or just sitting watching a good film or doing things together. :icon_wink:icon_bigg Also I tend to get butterflies in my stomach and get tongue tied when I really like someone.
Hope this helps :icon_bigg

 

To me it feels almost like hunger when it is new. It is beyond an academic thought process of he/she is hot or I really enjoy talking to he/she.

As an adult (it is too difficult to tell when you are a kid), it has only happened to me twice. With my wife, when we are apart, I have a place that is missing inside of me. Every time I see her when we have been apart more than a day, I feel hunger, then a surge inside, then feel warmth...deep.

I also met a man a couple years ago. He is gay and partnered. There is an undeniable chemistry between us. Same sort of feelings. We almost acted on it once. Now, we see each other in passing there is this hunger followed by the same warmth.

I have been with him and my wife, socially, together a couple of times. It, oddly, does not feel awkward. It just feels warm! I told my wife I had been seduced by a man. She did need to ask who.

 

I think I'm just in an early phase of consciously experiencing attraction to men. I think in the past I (unconsciously?) just didn't let myself consider the actual men around me in the world as potential romantic and sexual partners. I just cast them as "regular guys" while I tried to be the same. As I peep out of the closet, though, I'm starting to really feel that attraction. At the moment, it's this feeling of being very interested in an unfocused, but delightful way as I contemplate the beauty I just witnessed.

No actual interactions yet - I've got some work to do in my life before I throw off the water-wings - but I'm enjoying the freedom I've given myself to see men in a new light.

 

She was perfect in my eyes! She was the perfect height, eyes, body, skin color and her voice, to say the least. i couldnt wait to get home to be with her. Nobody has ever made me feel that way but unfortunately it didnt work out.

 

You are married and want to stay that way? I would hope, for you, that you just described the way you feel about your wife. Because that is exactly how I feel about my wife.

For me, I have always been sexually attracted to men (not necessarily the act of gay sex). There are just some parts of a man's body that drive me wild every time. Same with a sexual attraction to a woman's body. Until a couple years ago, I just never met a man that had the whole package enough that I really felt compelled to be with him. The thought of the mechanics of sex with him was not even part of the experience. I just wanted to be one with him...whatever that entailed. It was quite wonderful even if it did not go anywhere.

 

Last night while i was driving home i was thinking about all this and im not going to rush anything. I'am going to kind of date myself, like one of the members suggested on another thread. I don't believe i ever said i love myself. I always tend to sell my self short!

So knowing what i know now about myself i'am going to work on me. I want to experience the same feeling of warmth if you will but first i have to get all my affairs in order.

Nick, the woman i described is not my wife. However, i love my wife to death. She has showed me what unconditional love is and she has opened my eyes in so many ways. She's a beautiful human being and i'm thankful shes in my life.

The other woman had more of the physical attributes i like. My wife is beatiful. But what got me was her personality, her believes, her morals not to mention we know how to have fun together!

But for the last year and a half we've growing apart.

 

Attraction is the initial process. Maintaining a relationship is quite another. One way to do that is to revisit and reinforce what stimulated that attraction to begin with. Sometimes we just get too comfortable and before you know it that is all the relationship is.

We all have experienced attractions that cannot become long term relationships...we need to be practical too.

In the context of what I am thinking Justasking100 is asking is about same sex attractions. Are they the same as opposite sex attractions if it is right? How do you know if you are in a straight relationship that you could build the same sort of thing in a gay relationship or even better? Tough questions. I think it is a pretty individualized thing.

For years I was in the camp of "attracted to men sexually but not emotionally". While I believe that the intensity of the connection between the two can be out of sync and can vary; I really don't believe they can be mutually exclusive.

 

I really cant answer that bc i have no experience with a man. However, i have this gut feeling that i can build a relationship with a guy. Its just something that i feel and its kind of natural to me in a way. Now that i have opened up myself to the notion that im not straight i feel i would have acted differently when guys have hit on me. In the past i would ignore it or act like it bothered me when a guy hit on me bc thats what i was taught. But did it really bother me? Looking back , i don't think it did.

 

By asking "what is" you are really asking "what is it like".

Attraction is somewhat mysterious, and it can be intense. There is something about being attracted to someone that we don't control all that well.

So, there is very little one can say about it, because there is nothing like it...