This is a writing exercise to interview your inner critic about one's writing. As my inner critic has an opinion on all aspects of my life I decided to broaden the scope of the interview. Me: I welcome (well I don't really) this opportunity to find out why you always need to have an opinion that is always negative about me and my life (especially about being Gay) Inner Critic: I thought this was going to be a friendly interchange of ideas but there you go with your anger and hostile remarks. I do not see myself as negative but as helping you, because you do need help. I am here to help you why can't you see that? Me: So when I am trying to sleep and you tell me about all my mistakes, embarrassing moments, how does that help me? Inner Critic: I thought while you are in bed you would have time to consider some of your past behaviours. This I feel will only help you to improve. Me: If you are so helpful why do I feel so worthless, so sad, so ignorant when you are around? Do you really know how low I can feel when you are constantly telling me all my faults? Inner Critic: You make yourself feel that way- I am merely pointing out the truth. It is not my problem that you are so weak. Me: Maybe this was a bad idea you are never going to listen to me or understand me. Inner Critic: Have you ever thought that maybe you shouldn't listen to me if I upset you so much. Me: How can I ignore you when you are so loud at times. Inner Critic: See this is what I mean you are so weak. You have the power to ignore me, to silence me but all you do is whine and complain. Me: I am ending this interview. Enough is enough. What would you say to your inner critic and what do you want to hear from your inner critic? How can I stop this inner critic? After 10 years of anti-depressant pills, psychiatrists, pscyhologists, the inner critic is still lingering around and manipulating my thoughts, feelings and behavouirs. How can I finally get the inner critic under control? I know I'll never get rid of it completely, but how do I live beside it in harmony? Why does it have this stronghold? I'm just fed up with it. I can't move on with my life and develop a meaningful companionship with a man that I can love, cherish and grow old with. I don't want to die ALONE. That thought just kills me on the inside. :tears:
I think your inner critic is the part that needs the psychotropic drugs...not you! What an abusive wench! (apologies for the sarcasm...it is just my style). Listen to this guy: "Me: I am ending this interview. Enough is enough." Most of us are our own worst critics. We see all of us, all the time. The good the bad and the ugly! We sometimes put too much emphasis on the latter traits and not enough on the good. I am convinced that most everyone has way more of the good than the bad or ugly. Concentrate on the good...you know you have them...one at a time, bit by bit. I keep saying this...an old rock climber's trick. Concentrate on the move you are on. Thinking of the previous moves or the future moves will cause you to fall. Kierkegaard might have stated it more eloquently.
Thank you Nickw for your response. You are right. Just concentrate on the step-by-step, day-by-day process and it's the only way to navigate through this unexpected journey called life. Easier said than done. Because, when my thoughts get attached to the past, they become DEPRESSIVE, and when my thoughts get attached to the unknown future, they become ANXIOUS. I would love to live in the here and now (meditation) and have tried this day in day out, but somehow, the other parts of my brain (depression and anxiety) seem to hijack everything all over again and weave me back into it's terrible grip. :bang::bang::bang:
I had really good results with CBT cognitive behavioral Therapy. It helped to rewrite my inner critics script. Now I may still hear some $!@? From her but the therapy usually kicks in and she gives reasonable alternatives as well.
