So I was here very often a couple months back, dealing with the straw that broke the camel's back, I guess. Seeing Orange is the New Black for the first time and immediately developing a huge crush on the character of Alex, and admitting to myself once and for all that I want to be intimate with women, love women, am attracted to women, and simply must do something about it. So now I've met bisexual friends, several of them, after a coming-out post on Facebook. And I met some local women, and one of them seems interested, and she and I decided we liked being in the "daily texting" category, so we do that. And we flirt some, and I like her, and we've seen each other at group events. And now she's coming over to my house tomorrow so we can have some "official quality time" and I really don't know what to do. My relations with women have been so sudden and over so quickly, and with women who were decidedly ONLY interested in a one-time thing. So this is definitely different I think. I don't want to mess it up. I have NO idea how any intimacy will ensue and I'm so used to the "man initiating everything" I guess. I know that I could easily come right out and ask her, so, what are your thoughts about this visit? Since I met her in the kinky community she's all about clarity and negotiations and I absolutely LOVE how open we've been. I could easily tell her my feelings of nervousness and hesitation. And I could also make an "official update" about where I'm at, now that we have been texting for a few weeks and getting to know each other and such. I just realized that this will be the first time we see each other in a non-public environment or with no other people around. I think I will chat with her and ask her what her thoughts are. She is more aggressive and open than I am and I think she has had by far more experience with women. I know I'm afraid of getting used and hurt from my past baggage and all, but I don't sense this in her. In fact I really do feel that she wants to be friends first and foremost and whether or not we decide to be intimate. So - ack! - I guess I am trying to figure it all out in advance... but I know how attraction works... at some point it will take off into some biochemical realm and things may happen and then we'll be going, ok, wow, how did that feel? I'm not sure if I am asking for help or shared experiences and solutions... I guess I am. Mostly I am totally flabbergasted that I even have women friends who've had sex with women, or that I have one with whom I text daily... I seriously thought that I would NEVER have anything come of my great realization and commitment and efforts. I'm totally blown away. It's going to the next level for sure... and I have zero experience with that other than the fumbling and awkward cascade at the hands of more aggressive (and predatory) women in the past. I know I'll be talking. Maybe if we first work on getting more physically close, like if we sit next to each other on my couch. Or look into each others' eyes up close. I don't want to be like, she's a female and she's interested so I need to GO FOR IT! I don't want to fabricate attraction if it's not there. I am so little acquainted with having an actual relationship with a woman develop that I just don't know what to do. I want to let it happen naturally, I want it to happen because it feels right to both of us. Thanks for letting me babble. Can anyone relate? Please tell me you can relate!!! :eek:
SSG, It sounds so exciting and evolved for you to have arrived at the place you have. I must admit I am jealous of you. I wish I was in a position in my life where I could begin the same journey as you. I love reading your posts, I think you have such a great head on your shoulders and reading your "babbling"---which to me is more of insightful thinking out loud, has helped me become much more introspective and looking at my life with a different perspective. I hope you have a fantastic time tomorrow and let the day take you where it does. Expecting an update on how it goes :icon_bigg.
Snowshoe, I'm so amazed at how much you've grown and how far you've come since you first started posting here . And I really admire how much you're taking life by the balls and just going for experiences and exploring. I don't really have any insight because I'm way behind you in all of this. But I think you just have to take a balanced approach, let yourself feel and do whats natural when yoire with this woman, and afterwards take time to reflect, think, introspect. Maybe that will help you go both by instinct as well as rational thinking. I don't know if that's helpful at all. i hope you have fun. I'm excited to hear updates .
