I have a longish history of sexual trauma, most of it from my childhood. In my mid 20s I told all family members with small children about other family members who had sexually abused me. I lost a lot of people (family members) from my life as a result. I was shunned by many, and threatened by one abuser. The entire process was gut wrenching and scary and I felt totally raw and vulnerable. I very often wondered if telling was the right thing to do. It was causing pain and chaos for pretty much everyone involved and it wasn't clear to me that anything good would come of it (particularly since so many people were telling me they didn't believe me anyway). In the end, telling my big secret, and losing people from my life who didn't believe me, and going through all of that pain and suffering WAS 100% WORTH IT. It set me free in ways I didn't even know I needed to be set free. I don't regret it for a second for many many reasons I couldn't see or feel when I was in the middle of it, trusting my gut that this just NEEDED to come out in the open. And now as I'm trying to come out of the closet I'm noticing so many similarities between then and now. It's just as excruciating and scary. And the stakes are just as high. And oddly, its comforting to me to see the similarities.
Thanks for sharing this yeehaw. I guess I'm doing things opposite of you. I came out in college many years ago, but just now taking a close look at family dysfunction growing up. And I think you're right . . . there are many types of closets we can potentially face and they are all based in secrets and shame. I too believe truth is the antidote. So you have some experience under your belt with bringing out the truth, right? A good thing
