I am a 52 MWM who has been married to the same woman for 25 years. We first started dating when I was 20 and she was 18. I had my first experience with a man when I was in my 20's and for a long time tried to suppress that side of me. Over the last five years I have started to have more bi experiences and really enjoyed them. In the last year I have realized that I am more and more attracted to men and have less and less desire to touch my wife. About two months ago I admitted to myself that I am gay instead of bi and feel orders of magnitude more attracted to men than to my wife or other women. Although I am still closeted at home, because I don't want to lose my family, it has been liberating to admit to myself what my true feelings are. I have met a man, who is 65 and much more experienced than me, who I see regularly. He has been a very gentle teacher and lover who has opened my eyes to what a relationship with a man can be like. I have very strong feelings for him and have enjoyed exploring my sexuality with him. At this point I probably have stronger feelings for him as my lover and although I still love my wife it is much more as a long time friend with many shared memories. I found this forum and just needed to share my story with someone. Thanks for listening.
:smilewave Welcome to EC, and thank you for sharing your story. There are lots of people on here in various stages of coming out, you'll find a lot of watmth and support here. Keep posting and reading other posters' stories. Just curious what does MWM stand for? I'm terrible at acronyms... How wonderful that you've met a great man. Good for you!!:icon_bigg I'm also married, with a kid, and just come out about six months ago. It's been a roller coaster. Abyway, welcome!
Hello and welcome to the site. Your story is just another example of how the coming out process/learning curve is a lifelong effort. If I had a dollar for every time I used the phrase "learning experience" on this site, I'd be a rich man. I always think it's sweet when a split couple decides to remain friends after ending a long marriage. You mention still loving your wife, and I find that sweet. Go you! Thank you for sharing your views. As you're aware, Empty Closets is always available to you if you ever hit a rough patch in life or just want to be around people with similar backgrounds. This site is a resourceful tool for many of us.
Thank you for your support. This has been a life long journey and I believe I am ending up where I am supposed to be. I couldn't be happier.
Hi Disneyfan23 I am a middle aged "closeted" bisexual in a monogamous relationship. I got on this forum to get advise on officially coming out to my wife and to gather information from others on an open marriage situation. I have now decided not to "rock the boat" for awhile due to some health conditions and family issues. I am attracted to guys like I like I am attracted to women outside my marriage. Enjoy, but hands off...for now. So, I don't need to act on my bisexuality if I am getting the intimacy I need from my wife. My wife has hinted at allowing me to "explore" with a man I met a couple years back. Although, it has been 35 years since I told her I was "not a zero" on the Kinsey scale. She knows this guy made a pass at me, yet, has mentioned him several times in the last week. So, I am not sure if it is permission or a test. Whatever.... I read that you had a number of outside gay relationships while married. My question is how you handled that with your wife...especially about the potential for STDs. This fear prevented me from a hookup a couple months back (luckily) when I went through a rough spot with my marriage. I know it will be an issue when I broach the subject with my wife in a couple months. Did you discuss these relationships with your wife or were these discreet? I know this is really a personal question and you may not wish to answer. So, no worries. And, I am not judging...I have little high ground to claim.
Hi DisneyFan23, Welcome to EC :welcome: Congratulations on coming out to yourself as gay. That's a huge step. ---------- Post added 15th Mar 2016 at 07:46 AM ---------- Married white man
Hi DisneyFan23, First, welcome to EC! Admitting to yourself that your gay is a major step, and congrats on that. It was the first step for me and a hard one personally. You will find people here in similar situations as yours, like myself, along with helpful information. Never feel you are alone, as I thought I was until I found EC. This site has helped me so much to come to the point I am now, which is coming out as a gay man. My next step is telling my wife, which is a major one for anybody that is married. I wish you the best.
