So about six months ago I was going merrily through life (well, not that merrily) and never questioned my sexuality, as I've been in relationships with men all my life, including a marriage that ended after nine years. Anyway, after spending time with a female coworker at another coworker's home one evening, I was completely having a girl crush. Never quite experienced anything like it, and totally tried to just shake it and move on without doing anything about it. Well, turns out she felt the same way and here we are six months later in a very serious relationship. I've never questioned my sexuality until now. I look back and wonder if I just suppressed all this. I've never struggled until now with knowing who I really am. I seem to have done this completely in reverse of most people on here. I did grow up in a completely traditional conservative home where such things would not have been accepted. Even my girlfriend asks me with surprise that I never thought about being with women. I honestly don't know; not that I was really aware. I suppose not in any sort of traditional way. It's just rather strange, I think. I suppose as ignorant as it sounds, I really never had any gay friends (I was in the military for most of my adult life when it was a punishable offense) so when I went into my current occupation, there are a lot of lesbians in this career field, so for the first time I've really been able to form friendships. Yes, I do feel a bit like I've been under a rock. Anyway, does anyone have anything similar? I just feel my path is different.
Thank you for helping me in my thread. I am sure you are not alone in this, because while I've been aware since I was small that I found members of my own gender attractive, I do think that heteronormative culture and people's expectations play a big role in how we view ourselves and our sexualities. I grew up in the middle of the Bible Belt, and even now, my hometown is not exactly the most gay friendly place in the world (to put it mildly.) But I do have a dear friend whose mother came out a few years ago, in her forties, and she is happier than I've ever seen her. Maybe it's generational? I know that being a "non-traditional" college student, I see quite a few people who are in their early twenties and out and proud, and it honestly makes me a bit jealous. I never could have admitted to my friend that I liked her years ago, because it would've been suicide in my community. You mentioned in my thread that it was a question of loving the person independently of gender. I think there's a lot of people who feel that way! At least, I've met a lot of young people at college who feel that way. I see that you are from Mississippi; I mean no offense when I say that I get the impression that it's not exactly the most friendly place for LGBT people. I'd wager that there's a lot of people on similar paths to yours. Happy and excited for you that you've found somebody who makes you really happy.
Omg reading this is like readying what I typed here sometime ago I am almost middle aged was merrier for 8 yrs, in a homophonic family in a country that it was not acceptable, with no gay friends, and only now realizing that I possible suppressed my attraction to women.... And here I am have a crush on a coworker that is lesbian... And there's few more girls like that
My girlfriend is good about not being too hard about myself and labels, so I don't. Yes, I live in Mississippi, but I am not originally from here. However, the community is not gay friendly at all. In fact, my daughter is having a really hard time with it. She's a freshman in high school and when she found out she had a complete fit. She told me that's the worst thing I could have done. I mean, seriously? Cheat, lie, hurt someone, and she thinks loving someone is the worst thing I can do? Yes, I raised her here, so I take some of the blame, although initially it was work that brought us here Yes, I wonder about some things from my past now. Yes, this is very hard. People at work look at me differently. My children look at me differently. I just know that walking away from this amazing woman would be the most stupid thing I could do. I am sure if I was ten years younger that's exactly what I would do. At this point, I know that this kind of thing doesn't happen every day, and that I would be a fool not to follow through.
Afgirl, it is terrible that people think that being gay is the worse thing that can happen, good for u for being so strong and being able to cope with all of that, not sure if I'm your situation I could be that brave ...
When my daughter found out, my girlfriend thought we were over. I guess I don't consider it brave, but I've been waiting for someone special for a long time. Who knew it would be a girl? She treats me amazingly, and I love that we are like best friends with a lot of chemistry. I have promised my daughter that I will not embarrass her in our small town. The truth is, while I may not, talk from work could very well make it's way over there. My girlfriend is very much out, so the moment we began being seen together, people made the assumption, which of course is true and I have no problem with. I mean, I'm prepared for that. Yes, it's crazy that she thinks that's the worst thing I could do. Loving someone? Really???
Hey afgirl. I'm 44, and only figured out I had an attraction to women last summer. It sort of grew into a huge question mark over a period of a few months, then in the space of reading a blog post, became an epiphany. I LIKE GIRLS (too)! I'm very happily married. The whole thing came as a bit (okay, a lot) of a shock. I don't know what it's like to live in a small town in Mississippi, fall in love with another woman, and have a daughter who's very upset with what she sees as a whole effing mess. I *do* know what it's like to be in a complex kind of love. Why would you deny yourself that opportunity? I wish you and your partner well.
