Trying to find answer to Why all the time. Always been attracted to men, interested in men romantically, interested in my spouse forever. I mean, Always. Then, I met her. My world shifted, don't know how or why. Nothing happened except for few friendly hugs and somewhat good acquaintance relationship. Making progress to free myself from all internal feelings and conflicts experienced for many months. Still, I am wondering Why. I feel feminine and masculine, strong and weak, confident and unsure, but nevertheless lucky to stumble upon these emotions. What is the reason for a straight woman as I've always been to switch like this? The only explanation I suspect in my case to be effect of changing estrogen levels maybe? I am early 40s, could it be chemical balance shifting, something physiologic?
Maybe you just like her....maybe it's the person. It's very similar to what I experienced, although I am not married. I was actually seeing a man, although it was not a committed relationship. I had a crush....a mad crush, out of the blue. I really did not know what was going on, but this woman just consumed my thoughts. Crazier things have happened...
There's nothing wrong with you. Google sexual fluidity. It's actually more common than you think for women to change their sexual preferences as they get older. You can't help who you love. Society just expects you to.
"As they get older" may be the key I am searching for reasonable explanation of later in life sexual fluidity.. The ones that got married, had kids and now approaching/past 40s: biologically speaking , our job is done, while approaching the end of childbearing age. Wouldn't it be right to say that sexual fluidity comes with physiological changes in woman's body? (Similar to going through puberty?) I realize we may have no answers, but I've met great females in my lifetime ( believe me) and not one struck my cord before. I also do not want to believe she is the only one, the exception to my equation. Maybe something else occurred as a change within my body chemistry?
Of course anything is possible! I too never felt like this for another woman, and to make it even crazier I met her online, and we only were able to email! I felt a connection immediately, and somehow we fell in love with words! We joke that we were secretly afraid the other was a 70 year old man! when we finally met it was damn incredible and I knew I wanted her in my life and actually came to not care she is a woman too! My husband has never made me feel like she does, and never can, because I crave intense emotional intimacy and he simply can't do it. Perhaps she is your soul mate!
Yes, you never know.. Must be great to be able to talk to your crush and to be open, on the same page. At least you can support each other and vent if you needed to, while trying to figure out what is happening to you. I truly wish I had someone live to talk to. She would probably be the best candidate as I have a feeling she may have more knowledge on sexuality, romantic attraction, etc. I am very green yet. For me, up until this year, sexual, romantic orientation, and gender were related 1to 1, and something you are born with and stuck for life. I thought there are straight people like me, then there are gay and bi. That is it.. It's like I've been in the bubble all this time, now kinda embarrassed. Really, truly embarrassed for assuming she is a lesbian based on her look preference. But this is not why I fell for her. She could be in a dress, dressed like a man, long hair, short hair, bi, trans, asexual, you name it. I would still find her beautiful(or handsome) and very special. Yes, I try my best to ignore or not to ignore situation in order to get her out of my mind. Time is the best cure. Still want to blame this on something, like these feelings and complete change of perception are attributed to midlife physiologic changes.:help::icon_wink
