I don't even know where to begin. I am sitting at work just staring at my screen, at a loss for what to do though I have plenty of work. It's just all too much to deal with. At home my husband is civil in front of kids and ignores me the rest of the time. I spend most of my time in another room and they talk and laugh like I am not even there and I feel lonely. I was approved for an apartment and sign the lease Friday though I am not planning to officially move until May. I am terrified and wondering how I can afford to do this. I am having health concerns and need to have a follow up procedure done so now I will have a large medical bill to pay, just when I move out and split finances. I am dreading telling my husband and kids though he knows this is coming, simply because it is difficult and I fear the reactions of others. I hate being criticized. I got in trouble at work for something ridiculous that I didn't even know was wrong but someone complained to my boss about it. Now I feel like I am being watched and afraid to make appointments or take lunch or anything! My friend is having a difficult time adjusting here and is having health issues of her own and I can't help her much and I feel guilty for talking to her about my stuff. She's about to head back to her home state for 2 weeks for her own medical follow-ups that can't be done here and I am worried she will get bad news and worry for her safety going alone. It just seems like there is so much on me already and the Universe keeps heaping more negativity on me and I feel like I am drowning and hopeless. So much for feeling better after talking to the lawyer. I just needed to vent, thanks for listening.
Hugs to you(*hug*) Can't imagine what you are going through.. Maybe I should not mention this, it sounds like the source of your sadness primarily concern about kids. Keep them as close to you as you can. I know this may be hard, don't retreat to your room. Put on happy face and be with them, let them feel comfort with you so they take news easier. I know it is not easy when you are in situation like this but nothing is. Stay healthy.
Perfect.... Someone found out about my having problems with husband and said something to my mother in law asking how I was and then clammed up when she said fine why? Husband didn't believe that I haven't said anything to anyone. The only thing I can think is when my previous employment was verified for an apartment the nosy receptionist there told a mutual friend and he told his mother in law who is friends with mine. Why can't people mind their own fucking business?????? :bang::***: Well I guess on the positive side now that things are started again I will get through it faster.
