Quite tired after a overnight drive which makes me a vulnerable to sadness anyway then I read Closeteers post linked by Sienna Fire. The Clostetomb When I got to this part I started to cry and sobbed for about 15 minutes: "And this is where the tale ends, you see, Because its real ending can only be written by each one of us. It ends with the man on the brink of a decision, Something which could, no doubt, create a bit of fuss. I, too, shall one day emerge from my closet, And cast away Denial, Loneliness and Fear. Finally be done with that leaden Secret, That for so many decades I’ve had to bear." I don't want to do this! I have to do this! How can I do this? Why am I doing this? I just want this hole in my heart to go away. :icon_sad:
Traveler I read it as well and have mixed emotions. I came out to my wife just over a year ago and at times it is still rough. I will tell you that I am more satisfied with myself now and regret that I didn't do this years ago. Stay true to yourself and stay strong my friend.
Dear TravelerMe and SWburbchgo, Your words are humbling, even more so because you both are going through journeys which are perhaps way harder than mine (seeing that you are stepping out after having been in a marriage). TravelerMe, I agree with SWburbchgo - coming out doesn't mean life becomes that bed of roses we all dream of (in some respects life seems harder because we feel that now we have acknowledged our orientation shouldn't things magically fall into place?). I read a couple of your earlier posts and you mentioned how your friends were accepting about your orientation (which is terrific btw!). I think a large part of coming out while older is pretty much that - slowly finding people who accept you for who you are and love you all the more for it. And, if it's meant to be, one day we might even find that fabled love we all dream about so much So, in a spirit of optimism, please read on: Too often we worry ourselves to death, Wondering what life after coming out will be. It may be easy, it may be tough, Nothing much to do but wait and see. Let us worry instead about ensuring, That we're surrounded by all that is beautiful and good. Love, laughter, sunshine, support, affection, As we manoeuvre this second adolescence, this strange adulthood. We may be married, or single, Or black, or white, or brown. We may be old, or not have a six-pack, But just remember - always choose a smile over a frown
Thanks both of you above. Closeteer your verse above made me smile though I'm tearing up a bit now; kind of a sad but hopeful tears lol
Simply Crying reading this, wow, what a post, what a poem. I can relate to every single word, feeling, emotion, thought, behaviour. Ultimately, happiness lies in our own hands and we must have the strength and courage to make a decision and back it up with action. Hugs to all :tears::tears::tears*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)
It rings so true with me too. I live in a very small community and have two children and friends that I have known all my life. I always knew I was Bi and it cropped up in all of my Hetero relationships sooner or later, and was mostly accepted but with suspicion. U ltimately I found sexual attraction wane in those relationships and found that I had to think of being with a man to have a sex life. I am now single again and can't go into another Hetero relationship as it will all repeat, so I have finally admitted that although I still think I am Bi I am more attracted to men and want to finally get on with my life. But the one thing that really scares me is the idea of coming out to other people , especially as it took so long to come out to myself! For now I intend to keep it all very secretive and not jump into any decisions. If it wasn't for my children I think I would move away and reinvent myself in a bigger town where I could be myself.
