Where did it come from? In the car, noticing every good looking man I see A meditation on my own loneliness... Wanting, needing A connection A strong pair of arms A man's jaw, lips, stubble Dreaming of waking up in his arms Sleepy face, sexy eyes.Fulfilled. Instead, my wife. Pleading, nervous eyes Please don't hurt me any more. Trying to be strong Trying to banish the thoughts. Swirling back, They consume me. If I can just think straight (ha!ha!) for a minute. Perpetual feeling of heart going slightly too fast. A feeling gnawing at the pit of my stomach. My head spinning on an axis of pain, confusion, agitation. How do I end this? Where is the real me? Try to function as a dad, as a husband, as a man. Bone aching exhaustion but no sleep. Rise & Repeat.....
