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I found Empty Closets, can anyone suggest a forum for my wife?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by brians34, Mar 26, 2016.

  1. brians34

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    Well, I've come out to my wife about being gay and have found this forum to express my feelings as I'm going through all of this.

    In one of my threads that is going, someone asked if we had found a forum for her so she can express things that are on her mind and get them out.

    Does anyone know of a forum other than the straight spouse network? I've looked at that and it's not a true forum type setup like what is here in EC.

    I would like for her to have a place like this where she can let things out.

    Please if you do know, let me know
     
  2. amomwhoknows

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    google straight spouse open forum and you should find it....

    but unless you are sharing this site with her, you need to promise never to look at it. So she can have some confidence that she can really share. Does that make sense?
     
    #2 amomwhoknows, Mar 26, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2016
  3. brians34

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    I would very much so stay away from what she posts and the forum she would be in.

    I whole heartedly feel that she deserves to have her own space.

    Now this search will find me the straight spouse network open forum, but I'd really like to find a forum that is similar to the setup here on empty closets, I don't like the looks of the straight spouse network open forum.

    Thanks amom
     
  4. amomwhoknows

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    I am not sure that exists -- as this is a subforum on a much larger forum that deals with a multitude of issues -- thus the need for subforums.

    The SSN is very narrowly focused, thus there is not the need for subforums, etc. It is also set up as a very rudimentary format. I have not explored there deeply. Do they also have private email support groups (like a Yahoo group perhaps?)

    Have you been unfaithful? Would she find surviving infidelity helpful? They have an I can relate forum for people who discover their spouse has cheated with same gender people.
     
  5. Chip

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    EC is, unfortunately, pretty unique in the structure and moderation of our community. There aren't many (if any) other forums, on any topics I've seen, that have as carefully cultivated sets of rules and policies that keep the community safe and enjoyable to participate in.
     
  6. brians34

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    I have been faithful.

    I had not had any problems while visiting gay porno sites, but when I visited that gay adult camera site and was able to actually visit with the actual person, I found how emotionally attached I could get with another man. It put such a deep want in my heart, I'm hoping I can get back from that.

    I chatted with several guys on that chat site, laughed and had such a fun time with the group and never had feelings for them.

    This one guy though, he laughed at most things I wrote, he and I completely bonded in a room full of people, we just hit it off. Since I was completely anonymous to the room (his adult room where he performed on camera like a strip show), I could be completely myself. I just had a chatname just like here on EC.

    He always lit up when I'd enter his room. He is everything I would look for in a man.

    The thing is, I knew there'd never be anything between us for one he is in MD and I'm in TX. Two, he is only 21 and I'm 52. It was just the thought that I could have those feelings.

    I think the thing that is causing me the most problems is knowing how strong my feelings could be for another man.

    I really truly don't want to lose my family, but these feelings are going to be so hard to shake.
     
  7. amomwhoknows

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    I think that's right. This forum is pretty unique.

    Surviving infidelity has similar guidelines, moderation, and rulesbut doesn't sound like it would be appropriate. Hopefully someone here has a suggestion.
     
  8. Grace66

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    What is it that you don't like about SSN? I've not been on it but my husband has told me that he finds it very helpful. He has made friends and acquaintances on there and from my perspective that has only helped us through everything.
     
    #8 Grace66, Mar 27, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2016
  9. brians34

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    I didn't look at the forum real close, the one thing that I didn't like was the "tree appearance"

    main subject here
    ''''reply
    ''''reply
    '''''''reply to above
    '''''''reply to above
    ''''reply
    '''''''reply to above


    You have to click on each link instead of it kind of flowing, it may be ok, at least it is something to help.
     
    #9 brians34, Mar 28, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2016
  10. CameronBayArea

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    The SSN also has a private forum. Your wife may need to ask to be added.

    For those who don't click with SSN, there's a Yahoo group for wives only called "AlternatePath."
     
  11. brians34

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    Thanks Cameron
     
  12. Linus

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    I don't know if you would consider this, but note that EC isn't exclusively for LGBTs... Straight allies can join too, and be just as welcome to receive support from the community.

    Of course, preferably your wife would have her own forum site to go to, if she wanted more privacy. But that's all I can think of at the moment.
     
    #12 Linus, Mar 31, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2016
  13. brians34

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    Thanks Linus for the suggestion, although she knows that I belong to this forum, I wouldn't want to suggest her to become a member only because some of the things I write in the forum I wouldn't want her to happen upon because I share what's on my mind at the time and you know how the mind goes. Things change all the time.

    Just as I wouldn't want to read what she would write in a forum, she probably wouldn't want to read everything I write, but might just happen upon something if she were to belong to it.