What is the LGBT stereotype you have the hardest time dealing with?

Well, I guess this is a complicated one - I am a bit of a tomboy, and I have a lot of admiration for a woman with a little bit of a boyish look, I'm picturing some specific women I've found incredibly sexy with short hair, amazing eyes, and a huge dose of confidence. But the butch stereotype that goes with it makes me uncomfortable.

I have often been called "dyke" and even "f****t" growing up because I guess I looked androgynous to some people. This was way before acknowledging my orientation. I really like to believe I don't care at this point, as a grown woman, but there's still a little part of me that has some discomfort with being viewed as too dude-ish. Even as a tomboy I have a fairly soft look, but still it crosses my mind from time to time.

 

Holy heck. I get infuriated any time I hear it but here goes:

That's it's not "real sex" without a man, and two women couldn't possibly ever love each other. "you just haven't met the right man yet" sort of shit. They literally combine sexism and homophobia to create this unholy abomination.

 

That you just want to hook up with all of your female friends.

I've only fallen for one of my female friends in the past few years (everyone else I've had relationships with I've met through lgbt stuff) and it made me terrified to admit my feelings so ruined a friendship because they moved on by the time I did admit my feelings.

As a defense I've cut myself off from people now and don't go out so I don't see her but also that I don't end up getting in that situation again

 

The stereotype about lesbians being boyish. I am a tomboy. But I hate that that instantly makes me look gay to everyone. And also that it makes me part of a stereotype. I've been considering getting a boycut and my bff told me today I'll look like "an annoying feminist dyke", which yeah, is exactly what people will think, even though, I'm just bored with my hair I style the same way I did when I was 4.

 

I've got two! Even though they answer your caption more than your statement, so I'll throw in something for that as well

I hate the "knowing it when you're born" stereotype. Seriously, it makes me so mad! I had this argument with my parent, which shouldn't happen again because I made sure the conversation was shut down by explaining it as well as I possibly could, that not everyone knows between the ages of born and seven. My parent's argument was that every gay person she knew had known they were gay since they were little, like four or seven or nine, so if you're gay, "you'd already have known."

It's been said more than once to me, and has made me upset each time because it invalidates my feelings and makes me re-question, which is really stressful. I'd wonder, "am I not gay/bi because I didn't have crushes on girls when I was little and 'just know'?" But I know what I feel. I wanted to marry a girl. What is gayer than that? I also used to kiss both girls and boys growing up, I just never had "crush" feelings for a woman that were very real to me until 25.

So having to explain that not everyone knows when they're a tot, and that just because someone realizes when they're 25, 35, 65 that they're into the same sex or both or trans or whatever doesn't make them any less of those things that they are.

My other one is that I hate the "who's the guy?" in lesbian relationship talk, or when people are convinced that one is more "masculine," and therefore they run things... or whatever dumb thing it is that people who believe that think. This annoys me because I think that, although it's totally fine to use the term masculine when describing a female, it's not "masculinity," but a personality trait, like being more dominant. Masculine isn't a personality trait, it's something we use to describe "male" things, like being strong and protective, etc. The word is too male, though, and always brings up images of men -- so I don't like how it's used to describe non-binary women.

And if there's a stereotype that has bothered me for myself, I think I'd say really butch females. Like, ones that are presenting almost completely male. That's something that has always made me uncomfortable and something I don't want to be associated with. However, I follow many lesbians on social media who are all different and present different, or like me, that I can relate to. So it doesn't bother me to put that with my orientation anymore, which by the way I've deemed "lipgloss lesbian."

 

Hmm, good question.

The idea that I'm lusting after all women indiscriminately bugs me. I once had some asshole guy ask me a bunch of gross questions about whether I perve on women in the changing room, and that stuck with me a bit, like that was what everyone was secretly thinking and he was just the only one rude enough to say it out loud. I've also had a couple of friends act as if I might like them purely because they're female. All I can say to that is "Don't flatter yourselves".

On some level, I also still fear being seen as weird, gross, or even just different. It probably doesn't help that I'm kind of weird to start with, and being gay is just the icing on the cake. I'm 95% over it, but it still sneaks up on me from time to time.

 

I have two.
1: People say that bisexuality is not real... EXCUSE MEEEE???????!!!!!!!

2: People say that bisexuals are more likely to cheat on you... *facepalm*

 

I really really hate the use of the word "dyke". Mainly because the context in which I hear it used is soooo derogatory.

 

When people use bible terms against you like, sodomite or stuff like that. But, When I was younger I absolutely hated the term fag or faggot.

 

+1 on both of these, I agree with both!

 

i struggle with... every bisexual stereotype ever. I'm not being authentic though, trying to prove my queerness or my straightness as if I can't coexist in both spheres.

I also grew up no to flaunt my sexuality, straightness or no, so I have trouble now making it part of my identity.

 

Thinking about this, I guess I would say I felt shame from the perceived "camp" stereotype that I grew up seeing on television and hearing kids tease about (and even tease me about). Being camp or effemenant was a big issue for me when I was younger, and I went out of my way to try and portray the opposite. I always reference a scene in the movie "In and Out" where Kevin Klien is listening to a recording on how to act like a man and the steps to act masculine. It was a funny scene but definitely one that stuck in my mind.

When I came out, and got comfortable with myself, I actually tried to act more camp and effemenant. Years later, however, I find I am whom I am and my mannerisms, no matter how they were derived, are now a fundamental part of me - whether masculine or camp.

I can say that the camp or effemenant stereotype no longer bothers me. In fact, I actually embrace it.

 

Oh yeah, I thought of something else - I get irritated about being perceived as confused. In reality, my sexuality is pretty clear-cut, it's just that it's a bit complicated to explain which sometimes gives people the impression that I don't really know what I want.

It's even worse with my gender stuff. I don't want to be seen as pretentious or a faker, so I avoid the topic completely.

 

Well I have to deal with being perceived as a lesbian on a daily basis just because I'm DFAB and dress in a very masculine way. That's a stereotype that sucks, especially because I'm not really into girls at all and I'm not a girl. Takes away from both of my identities.

Also, I know it sounds awful but this is personal opinion and it affects me. I really dislike how people group me, as a trans person within the gender spectrum, with otherkin and trans people with nounself pronouns. People mock my identity because they see otherkin all over tumblr and when I say 'trans' they immediately go to "oh do you identify as a giraffe and have moo/moos/mooself pronouns". Yeah people can identify as whatever they want I guess but when their 'identity' is having a direct negative impact on me, it just gets me down.

 

There are a few things that bug me, most been mentioned mere so far. But 'friends' who think they can comment on your sexuality, or their view of your sexuality. Trying to get you to come out with comments like 'we don't mind' or 'we think you are...' For me, these comments made me defensive. I was very close to coming out in my mid 20's, and I'm sure they were being kind and careing, but I went straight to my bunker never mind closet when I was confronted one night at a party.

 

Without a doubt, the image of gay men as self-centered bar-hopping and bed-hopping sex machines whose entire lives, attitudes, politics and activities center around being gay. I didn't come out to step into the life of Brian Kinney from Queer as Folk. I just want to live pretty much the same life I always did, and come home to a special guy at the end of it. So far, so good.

 

I don't know if it bothers me exactly, but when is this naturally keen eye for fashion supposed to kick in?

:lol:

 

When you get your membership card in the mail :icon_wink

 

Yeah. I would like to suddenly be good at vollyball and softball and stuff.