In the span of a year, I've been in this position, living far from home, while my grandmas (one on my mom's side last year) and this time my Dad'd side, are nearing their last days. Losing my grandma last year left a huge hole. She's one of those rare people who you just, the world is brighter because she's in it, and I'm only half joking when I say I thought she'd live forever. This grandma, she's like a force of nature. My brother calls her "the Godmother". She's unstoppable. I can't imagine what she's feeling right now. And my Dad. And I can't be home to comfort my Dad or say goodbye, I live in the UK and they're all in the US. This is not related to any EC stuff, just felt like posting. ---------- Post added 31st Mar 2016 at 08:50 AM ---------- She's given me so much, I chose her name as my confirmation name because I can only hope to be as strong a woman as she is. I keep thinking of her soup, and her voice on the phone after I had my daughter.
Sorry for sharing this here. I was in the middle of one of my regular EC introspect posts and I heard from my dad. And I can't talk to my family easily, everyone being so far and my dad trying to just be with my grandma. I just feel useless so I put it here. I'm not sure how to delete this post.
Thanks Nickw (*hug*). It's going to be hard to tell my daughter. She still thinks she'll see Grandma Nat again (who passed last year), even though we've talked it through thoughtfully a bunch. Because we live far away, she takes for granted that she doesn't see family all that often. So she makes her other Grandma crafts to send her and says we'll see her in our next visit. Of course she thinks we'll see her Baba again too. I'm really glad she got to know them though. It's rare to have a relationship with a great grandma.
Hey Baristajedi It is hard to tell a young one about loosing a loved one. Kids are pretty good about those sorts of things. It is really harder on the parents I think. You may be grieving some for what they could have had with such amazing people as your Grandmas. My Grandma was a spark plug too. I worked on my Grandparents farm summers when I was a kid and, actually became friends with her. She wasn't just a Grandma anymore...she was a real person I would have liked if I met her on the street corner. It is good to have those relationships isn't it?
Yeah I think you're right, the grief for my daughter is really knowing how special her grandmas have always been, and wishing she had more time with them. I wish she'd known my grandpas too. She didn't get to know her Baba as well as I knew her. There were alot of days I'd stop up to shovel her walk and she'd have me come in for soup. We'd sit and chat for hours sometimes. My daughter had shorter spaced out visits. But at least she had time with her. That's a really special time you had with your grandma. I loved talking with my grandma about what it was like growing up. She talked about things I worried about, feeling awkward (in her case it was her height), and things that were so different than my life (growing up speaking two languages at home, going through the depression). And like you said, getting to know her as a person. It's a rare gift to have had all this time with her. I'm lucky for having had that.
My sincerest condolences, baristajedi. You were lucky to have such a wonderful grandma, so sorry you had to lose her. (*hug*)
My grandma passed on her sense of humor to my mom and on to me. The three of us would get so wound up with a bit of the bubbly at family gatherings when I was a kid. My very conservative irish catholic grandmother letting her hair down with her daughter and 14 year old grandson. The rest of the family never could figure out what was so funny! Good times! sigh. Miss her! To Grandmas!
(*hug*) thank you wanderinggirl. I think I didn't say my original post really clearly, my grandma is in critical condition right now, but not yet passed. She has told my dad she is ready to go, refusing to eat. Shes just tired of getting sick and being in pain. She's in hospice care now because there isn't anything they can do at this point but alleviate her pain. I talk about our time together in the past tense because it's been a while since we've had those chances to be together much because I'm so far from home. I'm ging to miss her. But mostly scared for her facing death right now. ---------- Post added 31st Mar 2016 at 07:55 PM ---------- To Grandmas! It's the best when you can have that kind of relationship.
Oh God sorry, i misread. My grandma-in-law did that, it was horrible but she knew she had to go so she refused food and drink. It's hard to go through.
