List of People is Growing

So.. the list of people who know about my sexuality is slowly growing. I came out to yet another friend of mine today. I've known her since middle school. She actually identifies as asexual, so she was very understanding in terms of me questioning. I explained to her that this was something I have been coming to terms with for a couple of years now. I had to get it off my chest and confide in someone. I still feel when I hang out with all my friends, I am living a double life. Like I have to be a gay person pretending to be straight. Almost all of my closest friends know now. She had a lot of questions, which I was prepared for. All the basic coming out questions, actually. She was completely blindsided by the news, said she had no idea and that she would have never guessed. In the end, she was so happy that I told her and she was very supportive.

It's making this all too real, I think. Part of me is still wondering if this was all true, or if it's all in my head. Every time I tell another person, it's like this wall begins to form, blocking out my old 'straight' life. I feel like I am almost at the point of no return. I won't be able to hide behind some fake version of myself anymore. There is still a long way to go, though.

I also did it today on April's Fools Day... just in case I chickened out, I could yell, 'April Fools! Just kidding!'. Lol. I may use that for when I tell my family though... lol