Frustrated...

You poor thing, my heart goes out to you. Are you out to others? Do you mean family as in parents or you are in a marriage with children? It feels like the absolute worst thing in the world to be stuck where you are, I didn't have anyone turn their backs nor did I necessarily fear it but when I look back at how awful I felt when I was on the cusp of needing to come out.. The relief it brought would have far outweighed the hurt of a loss of someone from my life.

 

Think positive. You will never can be what you are not. You will never can love someone you don't like. Before others can accept yourself as you are, you MUST accept and love yourself for who you are. Be proud of who you are and not ashamed of how someone else sees you.

 

It's OK to make decisions about your life that other people don't like. You are the only one who can make you happy.

You are not alone!

 

I think one of the biggest things to keep in mind is how little just being gay/lesbian/whatever changes about you. It doesn't make you immoral, untrustworthy, or any more prone to depravity than any heterosexual. It gets made to be such a huge deal, yet it has little to no effect on your overall character. Being in the closet is far worse because how can anyone truly know you when you feel you have to maintain this wall around yourself.
I guess that's easy for me to say because I have no friends or anything, but just being able to embrace that idea within myself has been kinda comforting.

 

I think it's hard because it's just one facet of your life and yet when coming out it becomes your most defining characteristic. You're still the same person they know and love. I know it won't be easy, and there is really no telling how their reaction will be, but you are brave and strong for facing this. Nothing is more difficult that the people you love most turning their backs on you.

 

Hi, I can relate to that too. I've told no one yet, like you I know my family will turn on me - my parents in particular. But that doesn't stop how we feel does it? I'm in my 50's I'm suddenly aware of how much time has passed. So I'm slowly move forward knowing im likely to be ostracized by family when I'm out.

You do deserve to be happy, life is too short.

 

Have you tried going to a counselor? Someone you can talk to and start opening up/admitting to but without the fear of losing anyone or any sort of backlash. It may be a good starting point to give you the confidence to begin telling others. It may also help you with addressing all of the other overwhelming emotions that go along with this. We are all here to help too!

 

When I came out to my very religious-right family as bi in 1997 in Texas, it went about as well as you can expect... Like a fart in church. Mom was in tears. Dad felt the need to step down from his position as an Elder in the Church of Christ (not Mormons. Think Southern Baptists on crack). My eldest sister was moderately ok, but she lived in Fargo, ND at the time and my middle sister (I'm the baby) disowned me for several years Because she thought I was a danger to her kids.

I say all this doom and gloom because, eventually, they all came around. In fact, my dad just liked a Kristin Beck trans* advocacy post I just put up on FB today.. I think hell just froze over. I have a great relationship with my sisters now, too. The good news is I'm about to come out as trans to them so it will be like kicking down the closet door for the second time. I have faith it'll be much better the second time around.

So, will coming out to your family suck? Yes, there's a good chance it will. BUT, it will get better. They will likely come to realize you are the same person you were yesterday - just with one more label. Have some faith. My money is on you, chica! You can do this!