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REsolving Fears

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by IamIam, Apr 6, 2016.

  1. IamIam

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2016
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    Location:
    Northeast
    Gender:
    Female
    Hello Everyone.

    I'm relatively new to this site - only been registered for a couple of weeks. I have posted in the Welcome Lounge but this is my first post really sharing a bit of my story and where I am at right now. Hoping that, as much as sometimes I feel unique, there will be others out there that might relate and be willing to share their input.

    I grew up in a very challenging environment - there was a lot of abuse on many levels, physical, emotional, and sexual. The perpetrators of this were primarily Female. As I am Female as well, this resulted in causing a lot of confusion, discomfort, and repression of my own sexuality. There was also a lot of abandonment tied into these situations which just caused the whole topic of relationships and sexuality to be a hard one - there were a lot of times that I stayed away from the more intimate relationships as it was just very hard.

    I've done a lot of work in this area and have healed some, gained a lot more clarity on my sexuality, accepted it, etc. But I find that now that I am at a place where I am not denying it any longer and need to start to consider "taking this show on the road" lots of emotions are coming up. Some of this I realize is likely the normal Fear I might expect in the coming out Process - but I believe it's a bit more than that. There's still a lot of fear of intimate relationships in general due to left over stuff that is not yet fully resolved. I see and know a lot of other people that have been thru challenging growing up situations as well and none of them appear to have the same struggles - they all go on and create healthy relationships. I'm left wondering why it's a bit harder for me.

    I don't know if anyone out there can relate to this (hopefully, you all don't think I'm too strange!) but if you can, would love to hear your input.

    Thank you so much!

    Peace and Love
     
  2. FalconBlueSky00

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2015
    Messages:
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    Location:
    TX
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hi, and welcome. I don't think there is any wrong way to heal, or that there is a "normal" timeline for healing. I grew up in a challenging environment as well, minus the sexual abuse. It's nice to have someone else be so forthright with their past. I always feel like I say too much and it ends up freaking people out. It's ok to be afraid, I think that's a common theme for a lot of people on EC. And it's cliche but you know what they say about ducks, those relationships my seem to glide smoothly along but someone's probably paddling like hell on the inside sometimes. Again welcome.