Same sex crush on you

I hear you. I have the exact same feeling. I know men are attracted to me, but I'm not sure about women. I'm not planning to search for a woman soon (i am in a hetero marriage too) but I wonder if I'd ever meet someone who likes me, and is cool with my hetero baggage and kid. Maybe in my next life!

 

I too was in a hetero marriage up until I was 25. I was only married for two years but we were together for about 8 years in total. After great thought I made the decision to leave and fill something I felt was missing. I wasn't even positive what that was at the time. A year later I was living with a woman. We have been together for the last 20 years and have a 13 year old daughter conceived via an anonymous sperm donor. Who knows what is in store for you. But it is exciting to find out.

 

I'm sure there are some women who are attracted to you. The key is getting to a place where you actually interact with women who are interested in other women.

 

Once, when I was a teen, a friend's drunk mother said that if she were a lesbian she would find me attractive. Does that count?:lol:

 

I hear you! I am in a hetero marriage with children. I have had some crushes reject me for what ever reason. So I decided not to go looking for a woman as well, but have decided to wait and see if the right one will eventually enter my life - if it is at all possible! Who wants someone with extra baggage anyway? hehehe

 

Well... I wonder if you haven't been hit on and just don't know it.

I've had one instance where a woman I just met has been chatting with me for a little while and me wondering why she was still talking to me and then later discovering she's gay. I'm not saying she was hitting on me but looking back, I can see how she was trying to be friendly.

There may have been others but being slow on the uptake, I wouldn't know.

 

I think it's harder to hit on the same sex in everyday life, because you're not sure who is and isn't gay/bi. Think of a time when a woman may have randomly smiled at you from across a room or just seeing you walk through a doorway and made eye contact -- that's how I've been "flirting", haha - because I can't assume anyone is gay. Of course, this isn't actually flirting and doesn't work because it is also a friendly gesture.

I have to say, I've only ONCE ever seen someone get hit on by a chick in the straight world (haha that's horrible but I mean not at a place where there were DEFINITELY gay people). I went to a bar with a friend of mine who is GORGEOUS. She's amazing looking and has always gotten attention from guys, wherever we are. We were having a drink and some girl came up to her, crouched down and was like, "you are absolutely gorgeous." And kept talking to her so I tuned out and didn't hear the rest. That was the most blatant girl flirting I've ever seen.

When I had my trigger crush, she waited until we were alone and asked me my sexual orientation. This was after the third or so time we'd been around each other though, and I was (at times) being flirty with her. It depends on people's security level and how... gutsy they are. It doesn't mean someone doesn't have guts if they can't be blunt, but some people just go for it more than others. I even think one of my lesbian friends was slightly flirting with me when she was mentioning how she and I were soul mates, but this can also just be clean, friendly interaction.

You never know when someone could have taken an interest in you!

 

Nah, it's really not all that different. I remember thinking the same thing. It will happen when it's the right time.

 

It's difficult because even though I live in a time and place where homosexuality is acceptable, it still doesn't seem entirely appropriate to just hit on a guy unless I'm in an all gay environment, i.e. a gay pub or gay sauna.

I get women telling me I'm a handsome man all the time, but rarely get complimented by men. If i do get a compliment from a man (in a non-gay only environment) it's either a married man or a man who is old enough to be my grandad.

I tell myself "fuck it, Dave. You get compliments from the opposite sex all the time, if you like a man just say it." And I do want to compliment men on their looks, but i don't want to do it when there are other people are in earshot, and I don't want to sound creepy when I say it.

 

I've wondered as well... has a woman ever been interested in me. I am in a hetero marriage too with kids (kind of a trend in this thread). But I know I probably won't ever run into a woman interested in me unless I put myself out there and go to somewhere like a gay bar because I do think people are reluctant to pursue someone because you don't know if they are gay or not.

I did actually put myself out there once. I would frequent a store after I started crushing on the cashier. I would just go in to see her sometimes and end up buying things I didn't need just to have her 'check me out'. Well I finally went in one day and gave her a paper with my name and number and said if she wanted we could hang out sometime. Then I left. Doing that was completely out of character for me as I'm extremely shy and this was my first attempt to talk to a woman because I was just barely realizing I was a lesbian. She did text me that weekend to tell me she knew how hard it was for me to do that but she had a long time girlfriend. I never have gone in that store again but I do appreciate that she at least let me know something.